Not the End of Your Story

Life has a way of changing direction without warning. In this episode of The Heavyweight Collective, what starts as light conversation quickly turns into a real discussion about the moments that knock you off balance—job setbacks, unexpected loss, anxiety, and the quiet weight that follows.

The conversation gets personal as stories unfold about paths that didn’t work out the way they were planned, only to lead somewhere unexpected. From missed opportunities to painful losses, the discussion explores how setbacks can shape you, stretch you, and sometimes force growth before you feel ready.

At the center of it all is a real question: do setbacks happen for a reason, or is it all about how you respond? Faith, timing, and the choices of others all play a role in that answer.

This episode doesn’t just reflect—it gets practical. From managing first reactions to building routines that help you stay grounded, the conversation offers perspective for anyone going through a moment that feels like the end but might just be a turning point.

 Thanks for tapping in with The Heavyweight Collective!
 Make sure you follow, subscribe, and share with someone who needs this convo. Catch us on all socials for clips, updates, and more behind the mic. https://linktr.ee/TheHeavyweightPodcast

Transcript

Tortillas Honey And Preworkout Talk

SPEAKER_03 0:00

All right. Are you ready? You got your shit together. Why are you scared, man? It's just she be acting like she be acting weird, bro. Regular old show. She be acting weird, bro. Starbucks we'll showing.

SPEAKER_01 0:12

She be acting weird.

SPEAKER_03 0:14

Is that T?

SPEAKER_01 0:15

This is hot chocolate.

SPEAKER_03 0:17

That's crazy. What you five? That's what I said. I was about to say six.

SPEAKER_01 0:24

That's not the first time I've been called a five-year-old. I I like to heat up tortillas and eat them with butter.

SPEAKER_02 0:29

That's fine.

SPEAKER_01 0:30

And I told somebody that recently.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

No, it depends on the it depends on the tortilla.

SPEAKER_01 0:40

That's true. I'm always down for a struggle.

SPEAKER_03 0:44

Like I started, uh, I started doing the the bread, the bread with the honey on it. Like this one and photo and a half. That's my pre-workout. You didn't put fast carbs. That's it, fine. And my but my daughter was like, Dad, what's that? I was like, this is a hood delicacy. You don't know if you do.

SPEAKER_02 0:55

You didn't you didn't finish. I'm always down for the struggle, and I'm like, meal.

SPEAKER_01 1:00

Meal, meal, meal, meal, meal, meal. I know. Hey, I fell you, Kevin, because I thought about that in my head. Like, niggas cut me off.

SPEAKER_03 1:09

Oh, my bad. I didn't hear that. I didn't hear that part.

SPEAKER_01 1:11

I'm down for the struggle, meal. Those tortillas look butter is fire. I don't care what nobody said.

SPEAKER_02 1:16

What's that one out here? Is it Mobile? Is it Anchos? I don't think it's.

SPEAKER_01 1:21

Ooh, Anchos is in uh Riverside.

SPEAKER_02 1:22

They're tortillas.

SPEAKER_01 1:23

And they have homemade tortillas. Very bomb. Oh, I'm not.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

I was watching them the whole time just creep up.

SPEAKER_03 1:28

I was getting, I was about to get ready to slap the shit out that nigga. I got a swatter, but we're gonna look crazy. I can't do that.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

What episode is this?

SPEAKER_04 1:35

238.

SPEAKER_03 1:36

238. Hey, whatever.

Episode 238 Intros And Nicknames

SPEAKER_04 1:38

You ready, sir? What's good? This is episode 238 of the Heavyweight Collective. I am your anti-social host, never your favorite. Study McFly. Out.

SPEAKER_01 1:52

Chip. I'm Sharon.

SPEAKER_03 1:55

You gotta rhyme, Sharon. When he doesn't have the energy, you don't waste his energy.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

I was gonna say he had really, really don't waste the energy.

SPEAKER_03 2:01

You gotta rhyme.

SPEAKER_01 2:02

Rhyme?

SPEAKER_03 2:03

Yeah. Yeah. That's that's Sharon Never on Time.

unknown 2:07

Right.

SPEAKER_03 2:07

Is that the new rhymes? That's the young boy shit.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

Sharron Never on Time. That is me.

SPEAKER_03 2:15

Uh yeah, always missing something too.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

Who are you? Let's move on.

SPEAKER_03 2:22

I'm just me. Cool. Yeah, just me, you know. I'm young Wendell. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

I like Young Wendell. That's cool.

Vegas Zipline And A Quiet Sunroom

SPEAKER_03 2:30

Yeah. I like Young Wendell. All right, nigga. You by yourself on that one. How were your weeks? A lot. Tiring. Nigga. It's tiring, nigga. No, I was I was zipling in this shit.

SPEAKER_02 2:41

Whoa, whoa. Ziplining.

SPEAKER_01 2:44

Oh, that's tight.

SPEAKER_03 2:45

Oh, nigga. You you don't like your life? This is Vegas. Fremont.

SPEAKER_02 2:51

Oh, yeah, I've done that. I've done that. No, that one you survived. You might not. No, it's pretty high up. No, I'm not. It's like what the top one's 11, but I feel like I've done that one.

SPEAKER_03 3:01

You can survive that. Like once you went in the canopy, and then you fall.

SPEAKER_02 3:05

You can hit the concrete at a high rate of speed. You can just make it. Yeah, you're right.

SPEAKER_03 3:10

But you're not gonna hit the concrete. You're gonna land on somebody. No. They're gonna go, oh shit. I'm gonna angle my body towards somebody. It's falling. Sorry, it has to be you. Yeah, Kendall did it too. I was surprised.

SPEAKER_02 3:24

I was actually surprised. Oh, she did? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:26

I was afraid to zip line with my family. It was a while ago. Yeah. Heights, nigga.

SPEAKER_02 3:30

The one thing I was scared of was the workers because they looked like they did not want to be there. Yeah, that's the thing. And I was like, damn, y'all, like, you know, you're putting a harness on me.

SPEAKER_00 3:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:39

Like you have a little enthusiasm.

SPEAKER_00 3:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:42

I wonder in that moment when you're falling, does Alicia Key's song just pop up in your head?

SPEAKER_03 3:47

No, because I'm not gonna keep on. Yeah. I'm gonna get to the bottom.

SPEAKER_01 3:53

My week was good. It was if I can describe it a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 3:59

Oh, okay. How many syllables is that?

SPEAKER_01 4:02

No, I um like I told you guys, my I started working in my sunroom, my desk at a lot of time. I spent a lot of weed.

SPEAKER_04 4:09

I thought she was gonna say she smoked a lot of weed.

SPEAKER_01 4:12

No. No.

SPEAKER_03 4:12

No, not not on the closet.

SPEAKER_01 4:13

I'm not a weed.

SPEAKER_04 4:14

No, I'm talking about the sun.

SPEAKER_01 4:15

I'm just not a weed smoker.

SPEAKER_02 4:17

She just eats the brownies.

SPEAKER_01 4:19

No, I don't. Anyway, um, that was nice being outside and listening to the birds while I got to work. I thought you were in the hood.

SPEAKER_03 4:30

You know, we know you she would lie.

SPEAKER_01 4:31

They got birds in the hood. What do you mean?

SPEAKER_03 4:34

Pigeons.

SPEAKER_01 4:35

Pigeons.

SPEAKER_03 4:36

Pigeons are not peaceful.

SPEAKER_01 4:40

I'm in the upper hood of Corona, and it was nice. It was really nice.

SPEAKER_03 4:45

Okay, there's no such thing as upper hood. I know I'm playing.

SPEAKER_04 4:48

I'm playing. I'm playing. I'm playing.

SPEAKER_01 4:51

No, that's I don't know. Try to go to the upper room.

SPEAKER_03 4:56

Uh am I weekly just tired? Tiring, you know. Um, I realized this week that I don't have a fear of heights. I have a fear of falling because I had to rock climb.

SPEAKER_01 5:04

That's a good point. Oh, how do you think? You had to rock climb? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:07

You need to do some kids' stuff? Nah, I just we'll talk about later. Uh yeah, so it was cool.

SPEAKER_01 5:13

Rock climbing inside.

SPEAKER_03 5:14

Yeah, it's just, you know. As long as I was looking up, I was fine. But the problem is when you get to the top, you're like, well, shit, now I gotta go down. Mm-hmm. Pause. Like real rocks? No, that's indoor. Oh, I thought you was out there like I was like, Oh, hell yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:30

You already knew that.

SPEAKER_03 5:31

I thought I had a fear of heights. It turns out I just have a fear of falling.

SPEAKER_01 5:34

This nigga was at Ontario Bill's mall.

SPEAKER_03 5:36

You know? Yeah. What the bumpaws?

unknown 5:40

Huh?

SPEAKER_01 5:42

He said it was you outside. I said you was out in the wilderness. You know he went downside. I said he was at Ontario Bill's mall.

SPEAKER_03 5:48

Yeah, I went outside. Um shit. No, no, yeah. I just I have a fear of falling. But you don't know, they gotta trust the equipment. Yeah, that's the problem.

Fear Of Falling And School Memories

SPEAKER_02 5:58

You don't? I don't. Wait. That's the problem.

SPEAKER_03 6:01

You ready? I don't trust, I don't trust anything man-made. Amen to that. Part of the education academy?

SPEAKER_01 6:06

I was.

SPEAKER_04 6:07

Did you do the uh the the the ropes challenge? The rock or you climb up the hundred-foot tree?

SPEAKER_01 6:14

No, it was like a field trip. Yeah, you was in the education academy. What?

SPEAKER_04 6:18

Yeah, yeah. We all was in education.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

We just EA all day. I love the education academy.

SPEAKER_02 6:23

Yeah, we had to do this, it's Mario did a hundred foot tree.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

I remember when I got it.

SPEAKER_02 6:27

We we did all the field trips. Like, I feel like we didn't do too much. Where I was like, nigga, this is not school.

SPEAKER_03 6:33

Like, this ain't school.

SPEAKER_02 6:34

I know.

SPEAKER_03 6:35

I was about to say it's in the game when she said.

SPEAKER_02 6:36

No, we did the uh ropes, I think, a few times.

SPEAKER_01 6:38

My um my brother went to the same school as me, but years before, and when he found out I wasn't, he told my parents, don't let her do that. He called it the special educator.

SPEAKER_02 6:49

No, it was it was it was great.

SPEAKER_04 6:50

He was looking up for it, he was looking up for you. Shout out to Miss Anderson.

SPEAKER_03 6:54

Oh, yes, and Mr.

SPEAKER_04 6:55

Anderson was.

SPEAKER_03 6:56

Was she one of them Arizona type teachers? No, no, she was chill.

SPEAKER_02 7:00

Listen, Mr. Anderson was the man. Yeah, I used to skip. I used to leave class and go sit in his class, and he was like, nah, it's cool. Yeah, like I don't know, Mr.

SPEAKER_01 7:10

King.

unknown 7:11

Mr.

SPEAKER_01 7:11

King. I hope we're not still working there. No, they gone. No, they were like, damn, don't say like that for the retired.

SPEAKER_04 7:18

They retired, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

Yeah, they're retired. I run into well, I used to when I lived in a store all the time. And he used to always tell me that my smile wasn't thought about that. Damn, he was like, 'cause I would like to. So but why you block it? I shut up. I do, I would do bad shit. So you ain't gonna be and then I would like try to smile your way through it. I don't even think I was trying to do that. I probably just wasn't taking the fact that I was in trouble. And he'd be like, Miss Davis, that smile's pretty, but it's just not gonna get you through life.

SPEAKER_03 7:45

I just thought about that. So let me ask you this question, then Sharon, does you do uh uh do your daughters do that to you?

SPEAKER_01 7:50

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:51

Oh, okay. So you think about Mission.

SPEAKER_02 7:53

I know it just came to me.

SPEAKER_01 7:55

I had forgotten all about it.

SPEAKER_02 7:56

Let me tell you something.

SPEAKER_01 7:58

Yeah, for real. And they got the same smile as me. Anywho, but yeah, but my middle daughter, my my 16-year-old, she's actually in education academy, so field trips and shit.

SPEAKER_02 8:10

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 8:11

Tripped me out when uh are they free?

SPEAKER_01 8:13

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_04 8:14

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 8:14

That one year on pay for this. What school are you going to? What happened?

SPEAKER_04 8:19

I was gonna say that one year where uh the the Angels won and his son was on the that team. Yeah, oh yeah. How much ass kissing that happened? The Angels won? To him? Yeah. All the kids that are coming in. Oh, how about them Angels?

SPEAKER_01 8:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:33

Well, his son he he balled out in the game before the ALCS. I think they had like a lot of people.

SPEAKER_03 8:38

Oh, we're talking about we're talking about the California Angels, NHI.

SPEAKER_02 8:42

The one they won. They won something? The one they won. You know that, don't you?

SPEAKER_01 8:45

It was like 25 years ago. Don't do that.

SPEAKER_02 8:47

What was that? They won one. Don't do that. Oh. They won one. Hey, some teams ain't won one. So give them that. That's true.

SPEAKER_01 8:54

25 years ago.

SPEAKER_04 8:56

The Clippers didn't. Yeah. They never will.

SPEAKER_02 8:58

You Dodgers niggas acting like you ain't you didn't hate the Yankees for what you did.

SPEAKER_03 9:06

I don't really hate the Yankees. I You did. No, I don't. Used to. I never did. I I I've always hated the Padres and the Giants.

SPEAKER_02 9:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:15

And the Yankees when they was.

SPEAKER_03 9:16

I don't I don't really care about the Yankees.

SPEAKER_04 9:18

We were kids. I didn't care. Yeah, I climbed the 100-foot tree and then I jumped off that motherfucker.

unknown 9:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:23

100 feet in the air? Yeah, because I'm crazy.

SPEAKER_04 9:25

You climb up the tree. 100 feet, and then you there's a little base, and you jump off the base, grab the the rope or something? Yeah, and then you let go.

SPEAKER_03 9:35

No, I'm out.

SPEAKER_01 9:36

None of that.

SPEAKER_03 9:37

I'm out.

SPEAKER_01 9:38

Everything's there. So I'm pretty sure I didn't know. The equipment's there to save you.

SPEAKER_04 9:41

Yeah, okay, sure. I just know when I let go, I said if I die, uh it's my time to die.

unknown 9:45

How?

SPEAKER_01 9:46

You won't know it.

SPEAKER_04 9:47

I don't know. I was exacerbated after that.

SPEAKER_01 9:48

Was you a junior or a senior?

SPEAKER_03 9:50

Senior. I'll say all the time. If I die, I die.

SPEAKER_01 9:53

EA got me through high school one.

SPEAKER_02 9:55

It's in the game. Oh, they made sure I got a fucking like good grades. Yeah. I was like, oh man.

SPEAKER_01 10:01

It was like the hack to high school for me.

SPEAKER_02 10:03

Yeah. You mean to tell me I'm gonna go to the other school and like try to pretend to teach kids?

SPEAKER_01 10:09

Yeah, I forgot. We used to go to our junior year, we would go to the little elementary schools. Yeah. I had a preschool. I had three and four-year-olds. That's so crazy.

SPEAKER_03 10:18

That's why them kids is fucked up now.

SPEAKER_02 10:21

Well, anyways, the kids I probably have was like, yo, hey, this one dude used to come, he was cool as hell. Like, now I do shrooms. Like, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 10:29

No, you know what's crazy is now, like I said, Maya goes, and they um sent her home with a whole little fake baby.

SPEAKER_02 10:35

Oh no, we didn't know. Okay, I remember they did it. Yeah, do we I remember doing that, but it was different if it depends on which program you're doing. Because if you're going to the school with the kid babies, then they did it.

SPEAKER_01 10:45

I think you're right.

SPEAKER_02 10:46

But that's nothing from this, nigga.

SPEAKER_01 10:48

Baby died.

SPEAKER_02 10:49

We gotta get into it.

unknown 10:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 10:51

Sorry, we gotta reminiscing.

SPEAKER_01 10:53

He just mad he didn't go.

Setbacks That Changed Everything

SPEAKER_04 10:54

Uh, not at all. I was yeah, quick uh week was uh full of uh things that were unforeseen, so that's what we're gonna talk about today. Um in life, you're gonna have a bunch of setbacks, and you have to understand in those setbacks how to maneuver and uh deal. So, what's one setback you didn't see coming in your life that actually changed your life?

SPEAKER_03 11:23

Kevin, you have any thoughts?

SPEAKER_02 11:24

Why the fuck I gotta start? I got a lot of thoughts, and I don't want to get into it right away, so y'all go ahead. Oh, okay. Same same seas.

SPEAKER_01 11:31

Go ahead, Mom. Damn. Yeah, we put you on.

SPEAKER_03 11:33

Yeah, nigga. I am not Tanage.

SPEAKER_01 11:37

What's that you back?

SPEAKER_03 11:38

I don't need to be too old. Uh the answer, honestly, the the accent I had a couple years ago.

SPEAKER_02 11:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:46

Yeah, that that that shit. Sharon don't know the details. I'll tell you later. Uh yeah, that shit fucked me up. I'm still kind of fucked up from it.

SPEAKER_01 11:54

Uh what was the second part to the question? Uh no.

SPEAKER_03 11:58

No, go go ahead, be on.

SPEAKER_01 11:59

But I do want to know the second part to the question.

SPEAKER_04 12:03

I said, what setbacks do you see that you actually ah fuck now I'm fucked up. Okay, hold up. What setbacks didn't you see coming that actually end up changing your life?

SPEAKER_01 12:15

Um, well, I guess what comes from a job that I kept applying for at work over probably like two or three years. And I just I kept ending up like on a list. They would never pull me off the list. And uh because I didn't get that position and I was like a space where I was currently at, like, nah, I gotta um I ended up a different position that just kind of popped up out of nowhere. Um, somebody retired for that, and it ended up like just a huge blessing in disguise because it was work from home. I didn't know that. Like, you know, um, I guess the setback was I was going through it when I kept not getting the job that I wanted because I really wanted that job. And I it was a big setback at the time, but then it just kind of like all came full circle when I ended up going for the other position.

SPEAKER_04 13:03

What's the float?

SPEAKER_02 13:04

Kevin? I think I'll go, I'll use we'll go with the loss of my day. Because that was I don't know where it's like currently I'm in one, but I don't know what outcomes is. So that's a tougher one to answer in that. But like that was so sudden with him. There was like a lot of shit to figure out real fast. And like I'm like, damn, I don't know what the hell, because I had moved back here and I didn't have nothing going on. And then like right when that happened, it was like probably within that a man, my bad, and actually just got my shit together and started working and you know, putting certain things away to the side and not being as nuts as I used to be. So it kind of like grounded me more.

Are Setbacks Random Or Meant

SPEAKER_04 13:52

I can say for me it was uh and I always tell this story was the first time I tried to be a driver for UPS and not um not getting it, and it was that that same chick that Maurice ended up having to deal with that failed me and my bitch Jocelyn, I'll say her name. You funky bitch. And then like in full circle moment, I didn't get the job at that point, but then when I finally got the job, I met Maurice in driver class, and everyone in the class had a story about Jocelyn, and we all dealt with the same shit. But like I felt like it all came full circle in that moment because it was an understanding that I wasn't the only one that got fucked over. It was a setback that honestly was it was good that I didn't pass at that moment because I would I didn't want to drive out of San Bordino anyway. And it just worked out in that way, which leads me to my next question. Do you think setbacks are random or do you feel like they all happen for a reason?

SPEAKER_01 14:50

Everything happens for a reason. And I think that um when you're dealing with setbacks, like I've I've kind of arrived at a space where like I don't believe actually being a setback. It can be something that I was that was not meant for me. That's how I really see it. Because I think nothing is by coincidence, it's by this whatever, you know, whatever doesn't happen is wasn't supposed to happen. So now you're in the lane of what needs to happen.

SPEAKER_03 15:22

I agree, you know. All right, Jay-Z. It's a lesson, huh?

SPEAKER_01 15:28

It is everything though. But that's and and honestly, it's I really relative to me. That's really like that has to do with my faith though.

SPEAKER_03 15:36

So I don't so he wasn't the kitchen, wasn't close enough for that mac and cheese?

SPEAKER_01 15:41

So he didn't put you in the kitchen as well. I didn't need to be there. You know?

SPEAKER_03 15:48

It would have blessed at least three people.

SPEAKER_01 15:50

God didn't want y'all to have no macaroni and cheese.

SPEAKER_04 15:53

I don't know if it would have blessed me.

SPEAKER_01 15:55

Exactly. See? I've been hunched over in this y'all niggas would have had the itis trying to do this damn thing right now.

SPEAKER_04 16:01

Ask the question, start snorkeling.

SPEAKER_02 16:04

I'm just laughing that we call it. Damn it. Lean back. Diabetes.

SPEAKER_01 16:15

Your blood sugar. You're about to die.

SPEAKER_02 16:18

So, I mean, Kevin, you guys said you were. No, I think it's relative in that, like, because things I don't believe things are like planned out. Like, I can't believe that, because then that takes away your free will of stuff. I think the setbacks are random and it's all on how you respond to them to how the outcomes are. Some people respond to them poorly, and you've seen how that goes, and we're like, oh shit. And it's just I think it's all the lessons in life on how you choose to respond. Because sometimes motherfuckers break, and you can't fault somebody for that either, where you're like, oh shit. Like setting on setting toilet paper on fire.

SPEAKER_03 16:57

That's that's all the mall. They they set the whole goddamn mall on fire yesterday. I said, God damn.

SPEAKER_01 17:03

Oh yeah, no, I'm terrible.

SPEAKER_03 17:04

I don't know if I could I could co-sign there. Like, I get it. You wouldn't chill nigga. I understand you were mad, but why record? Why record that? Like you would have probably got away with it. No, he would not they got cameras, he wouldn't get away.

SPEAKER_02 17:19

Yeah, you're right. Oh well, I don't know. It's just they are random to me, but because it's just some things are out of nowhere and you can't control it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:28

Yeah. I I you know, I kind of agree with both of these niggas. Birds. Yeah. That speaks. So crazy. Uh I feel like everything is just the uh the sum of decisions, and not all decisions are decisions you make. Yeah. Uh sometimes, you know, outpa outlying decisions that made by others affect your current situation. Um I mean, going back to the last question, my situation, right? I I had nothing to do with, I mean, I had a part in it, but I I wouldn't the one that starts. Yeah, you would just I I didn't start the advent, you know what I mean? So I think it so a lot of times I don't think it's planned. I just think like um sometimes um balls get rolling that we're just unaware of. Yeah. We just we're just along the path. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:15

Right. But walking each walking each other home, right?

SPEAKER_03 18:22

But you was at home. Who? Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 18:28

She said what they say, and I'm like, who? I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 18:31

Kevin's face is priceless with that reaction. He said everything without saying nothing. That was wild.

SPEAKER_01 18:39

I ain't never heard that. What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_03 18:42

Hey, it's her truth. Her truth. We're just walking each other home again.

SPEAKER_01 18:46

We are walking. Do I need to expand on walking each other home?

SPEAKER_03 18:49

Please do. Yeah, don't walk me home. Drive, nigga. His reading.

SPEAKER_01 18:54

So we all live this life, right? We're all up, we're all here to for the not for the same reason, but we all have the same outcome. Everybody's gonna die.

SPEAKER_03 19:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:05

Right?

SPEAKER_03 19:06

So I'm gonna live forever, nigga.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

Okay. Good luck with that vampire.

SPEAKER_03 19:11

Um he died too.

unknown 19:14

Did he die?

SPEAKER_03 19:15

And he died in the movie.

SPEAKER_01 19:16

Oh. They killed him. Um why are we arguing with fact? I know, you're right, you're right, you're right. Anyway, but hear me out. So if we're all going to die one day, uh-huh, that's like the home, right? That's where we're walking. So we're all meeting each other along the way and intertwining with our lives to eventually still end up at the same result. So we're all just walking each other home. Like in your crossing paths with people in 10, like, you know.

SPEAKER_03 19:46

So you're in your uh in your uh analogy, home is deaf.

SPEAKER_01 19:50

Yes. The upper room. We are all walking each other to the upper room.

SPEAKER_02 19:57

No, no, some niggas. No, I'm going to raise the boom boom room. Taking the escalator down.

SPEAKER_00 20:02

Like, oh y'all are so I'm heading to the boom boom room.

SPEAKER_01 20:12

Not the boom boo room. Okay, whatever. I too deep, too deep.

SPEAKER_04 20:15

Y'all, I felt it. I felt it. I felt it. I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_03 20:19

No, I get it. I'm just giving you a hard time.

SPEAKER_04 20:21

What you feel? I feel like it's a it's a sum of both. I feel like there's certain situations that happen that I feel like when you're dealing with them, you feel like, god damn it, like this felt like it didn't, it wasn't supposed to happen any other way than this. Then there's other times where like like you said, Maurice is you're dealing with something that someone puts you in a sick situation, but it's all and how you respond to it that uh shows character to who you are. Um so I think it's uh it's like a sum of both. Like I think it's like a just a culmination of everything coming together. You have certain situations that uh I feel like happen for reasons and other things is just hot, and when you respond to them, is yeah, yeah, it's just gonna show who you are.

SPEAKER_01 21:03

I think that like what I've learned in the bad thing, I probably feel so strongly about it, more so about the bad, and obviously the good. The good happened because, you know, oh okay, that lined up for me, or I put in the work or whatever the case. But the bad situations, when I learned the lesson, I feel like it was supposed to happen. And and the the example that I was really talking about my life, but um apologize. We are not gonna get through the day like this.

SPEAKER_03 21:38

Go ahead and tell us about your life.

SPEAKER_01 21:41

I I got married. I was in a very horrible relationship, and even before I got married, so I still married him. Um all that to say left him, whatever. But I was like in a space before I got married, or even before I got with him where I was adamant about like, oh. I wouldn't have another that was just like a thing for me. So now five years post the relationship and all of that, whatever, and having my little baby, um, like that was all kind of meant to happen.

SPEAKER_03 22:15

It was horrible, but it was you gotta clarify what was horrible because you can't say having a baby, then it was horrible.

SPEAKER_01 22:21

The nigga that I was with.

SPEAKER_03 22:23

Okay, okay, all right. I mean, somebody could have been like the baby's horrible, no. No, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 22:28

The situation was horrible. Okay. I mean, the baby came from the situation, but the situation itself, from the relationship with him to other factors that played into it, all of that is what I'll give the umbrella of horrible. But I got one of my biggest blessings from it. So that's an example that I feel like it just kind of like screams the fact that things happen, but they still were meant for reason. And I think that when I pull the reason from it, it kind of makes, and of course, this is because I'm out of it now. It makes the hard thing, okay. I I understand. I won't say it doesn't make it not so hard, but it makes the thing like, okay, I under. Um, and that's just kind of like the start. I lost my dad at 16. So it's like to have all of these things that were horrible, and then to look at my life now, I can't help but to kind of have that perception because it's oh, all of these things had a reason, you know.

SPEAKER_02 23:24

That's humility.

SPEAKER_01 23:26

I don't really have like a profound reason for my dad passing away. So I don't really understand that because that was my favorite person in the world. But still, like I'm saying, I was still, God still comforted me throughout that, and I still have been fine. Like, you know, I've I'm I'm okay, is what I'll say. So I can't feel anything other than like those things happened for a reason.

SPEAKER_02 23:48

Bad things, yeah. I mean, we we gotta do uh more on the positive side too, because you brought that in, and a lot of people don't seem to do that, like look at it and be like, I don't understand this shit, but fuck it, cool. Like, thank you, thank God something, whatever it is. But it's always we put in like, well, this is off the work I did. Like, sometimes you like, nigga, I don't know how I got this. Yeah, so yeah, I I I do uh like that you brought that in.

SPEAKER_01 24:15

But I think it takes that self-reflection and everything. Like, I'm that doesn't just mean that as soon as I left him, I was just like, Whoo, yay.

SPEAKER_03 24:23

Like I don't I don't think that's reality, y'all.

SPEAKER_01 24:26

Yeah, like you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 24:27

Like the I mean if it is, you like, damn.

SPEAKER_01 24:29

Yeah. Right.

SPEAKER_03 24:31

The heart that that that means she left a couple months before she left.

SPEAKER_01 24:35

Oh, months.

SPEAKER_03 24:37

Oh, damn. Damn, my bad. Um but I was gonna I was gonna say this. I said, I can I can kind of relate to what we're strong with saying. I felt like my event or what happened to me is what sparked the growth.

SPEAKER_00 24:51

Yeah. I can see that.

SPEAKER_03 24:52

So so uh like I don't know, it's a cliche, but sometimes you can't get the flower from the concrete. You know what I mean? Like, so sometimes sometimes something bad is required to grow something good. I agree. Or have a positive.

SPEAKER_02 25:06

I only feel like we're speaking from ourselves, yeah. Because there's motherfuckers out there where you can look at this shit. Damn, nigga, like I don't know. Did you like pick from the apple and your life is just fumbling?

SPEAKER_01 25:19

But I feel like this, Kevin. I really feel like, and that's why what we've talked about before, self-reflection and all of that is so important. I think the people where they don't come out of it is because they don't have the practices that allow them to see the lesson.

SPEAKER_02 25:34

Because everything's a lesson.

SPEAKER_01 25:38

There's people that just don't come out of it. And I I feel like that's so sad, but it's not that their situation was worse.

SPEAKER_02 25:44

Yeah, but what's the lesson to them if it just don't come out? But I think you get what I'm saying. Like, if you don't come out of that and they're doing everything, they're like, I'm doing everything right, and you're like, they not though. I can't say that.

SPEAKER_03 25:59

I I get what you're saying, Kevin, but I also feel like for some people, you gotta have the right people in your ear. And that's why I I believe your circle or whoever around you really, really matters.

SPEAKER_02 26:09

There are niggas alone in this world, you know. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. There are niggas alone in this world. And there's stuff to think about where you're like, I've never been like that, and I'm blessed to be able to say but there's people where you're like, damn, damn, that nigga's like alone alone. Like, yeah, and you like talk to people like daddy died, mama died, this died. You're like, Well, I don't know what to say to you.

SPEAKER_01 26:32

But it's like a lot of times when you hear people that are like what you did, the example you just gave, when you hear those people talk, sometimes you hear them, you'll sometimes it's them, yes. Right, because sometimes you'll hear like a little, like they'll say things like, Ain't nobody ever gave a fuck about me. But then it's just like, but then when you kind of know their life, you know that there was some people that was trying to give a fuck about you. You know what I mean? Like, so it's like it, it is. I mean, I appreciate a person that knows how to dive into self enough, whether it's through your community or for yourself or however it is that you navigate it, but it takes work. And I think that some people just want to harp on that negative thing that happened versus doing some type of intentional work because a community is important, but I feel like I I feel like a really isolated person. Even though I know I have a lot of people around me, I feel isolated when it happens to be a thing that's happening. Like I have best friends to this day that don't comprehend how horrible of a relationship I was in because I navigated it in an isolated way. You know what I mean? And they know I'm fine, but it's just like you have to kind of have your practices or whatever that looks like. I think that people don't take the time to really try to do that. And some people like to just be that person, like everything is pain, and my life just like some people kind of hold that.

SPEAKER_02 27:55

But some niggas like that. Yeah, that's the hard part, is I always think about I'm like, not everything is like sometimes you're like, damn. Sometimes I buy a nigga there, you know, you the problem.

SPEAKER_01 28:05

You can be the problem.

SPEAKER_00 28:07

You can that's the problem.

SPEAKER_02 28:08

No, I'm not taking away from that, but I'm saying we can't take away from sometimes there's niggas out there where you're like, you're really trying. Yeah. And you really do, but it's just hey, I'm I'm the self-titdy, dog.

SPEAKER_01 28:21

You know what, Kevin? You know what Kevin's giving right now is grace. Oh I like that, Kevin.

SPEAKER_03 28:26

Sometimes he does.

SPEAKER_01 28:26

I don't know how.

SPEAKER_03 28:27

I don't know how to get it. I had a nigga told me, man, every time such, I said, Well, nigga, stop going over there. Well, yeah, those are that's a like if every time you pull up, it's a bad experience. Why are you pulling up going in?

SPEAKER_01 28:43

It sounds like you should stay away from there.

SPEAKER_03 28:45

It's like that Mima sent you when when the homeboy said, Hey bro, text me. Uh I want to leave, like, no nigga, you got yourself you have been over there, nigga. Now you got to deal with that shit. Like, yeah, sometimes like you you you're hurting yourself.

SPEAKER_02 28:58

That's funny. That I want to do that to somebody, like, hey, call me when that's like, oh yeah, yeah. And then don't don't mess up.

SPEAKER_04 29:08

So, what's your immediate reaction to a setback? Is it panic, uh, problem solving, uh reflection?

SPEAKER_03 29:16

Like what I think I go, oh shit, here we go again, and I'll try to I start problem solving it. What's the best move? You gotta make your next move the best move.

SPEAKER_01 29:24

Yeah, I'd probably cry.

SPEAKER_02 29:27

I am I think I embrace it.

SPEAKER_00 29:32

There it is.

SPEAKER_02 29:35

There it is. There it goes.

SPEAKER_03 29:40

Now she's swinging. Yeah, right. She keep that jab ready. Niggas ain't shit. This shit working.

SPEAKER_04 29:48

Question and arguments with uh in relationships. Do your uh significant other hold you by your wrist to make sure you don't swing on them? No, he he just keep five feet between them because it's no fucking distance.

SPEAKER_03 30:00

Sharon talk with her hands. That's like you like you fuck somebody up, like um I I picture Sharon being like trying to be nice and sweet to her daughters and it's still like this.

SPEAKER_01 30:12

No, they don't. No, they don't. I just talk with my hands, but I don't really get I I haven't had a significant Damn.

SPEAKER_03 30:23

I don't know. You okay?

unknown 30:25

Yeah, I'm fine.

SPEAKER_03 30:26

Anywho, we were um I was gonna have I'm gonna tell you something. Remind me to tell you something. I'm not gonna start with that one. I just thought about something you said that.

SPEAKER_01 30:36

Anyways, the question.

SPEAKER_02 30:38

I embrace them.

SPEAKER_01 30:39

Okay, there we go.

SPEAKER_02 30:40

I embrace the moment. I try to.

SPEAKER_01 30:42

I like to embrace it too.

SPEAKER_02 30:43

Cause I don't the panic don't do nothing. The problem solving sometimes is like, well, we don't even know what we're solving yet. Like let's just get through this shit and just be like, what is this? Okay, and then just be in the moment and go from there. Because the yeah. I think I learned that panic is just makes you go nuts the hard way.

SPEAKER_01 31:06

Well, you said setback, so we're gonna consider that like a name.

SPEAKER_03 31:09

So yeah, that's some setbacks are positive.

SPEAKER_01 31:12

Eventually be positive.

SPEAKER_03 31:13

Because, like in your situation, your setback got you, yeah, you got a better position.

SPEAKER_01 31:17

Uh spent a lot of time crying in the midst of it.

SPEAKER_03 31:19

Yeah, hey, sometime hey, sometimes the pain. Well, no, I'm saying you get something good from the pain.

SPEAKER_01 31:24

Yeah, the outcome. But I'm saying for the immediate feel of setback, I think that I like what Kevin said. Definitely I am pretty much. What do you mean?

SPEAKER_03 31:32

What's wrong, Kevin? Nothing's wrong, nothing. No, go ahead, nigga. She's speaking.

SPEAKER_02 31:37

I was.

SPEAKER_01 31:38

Thank you, Kevin.

SPEAKER_03 31:39

She ain't talking about shit.

SPEAKER_02 31:43

Stomping her feet. You about to get beat up.

SPEAKER_01 31:48

Today is too much. Y'all too much today. I just can't do it.

SPEAKER_03 31:53

I'm just I'm really mad about the bag of cheese. That's why I'm on around.

SPEAKER_01 31:56

Oh, yeah. I forgot. I set the date. She forgot already.

SPEAKER_04 32:00

I guess catering.

SPEAKER_01 32:03

She forgot that she forgot.

SPEAKER_04 32:05

It might not get there today.

SPEAKER_01 32:08

She forgot that she forgot is coming.

SPEAKER_02 32:10

When you when you book her for your event, you I tell her two days later.

SPEAKER_01 32:13

Yeah, that's the real day.

SPEAKER_02 32:15

Have two different events planned. When you get it, that's true. It's good. This is the fake date. So we get it on the real date.

SPEAKER_01 32:24

It's a thing. Um, yeah, I I like I said, I like what Kevin said to embrace it. I think that embracing a setback, embracing anything um when it first happened, because then that's when you start to be able to dive into what you know works for you to deal. I won't say to fix, I won't say to get over it, I will say to deal. Because you have to deal with stuff first. So I mean, and with that, and then I just couldn't I think I've been through a lot of things in life. And so I kind of have established practices. I know kind of when it comes to whatever setbacks, death, all of the things, unfortunately, I've experienced them a lot. And so I kind of had my go-to. Okay, I know this is step one. I know now I need to do this. Like, you know, I know when I'm arrived at now I'm ready to talk to somebody, or you know, I done already spent my days in just prayer, and and that's it. And so, yeah, like for example, just like this last week, not necessarily a setback, but I had like a uh disagreement with a friend. And I kid you not, like my first response, I text somebody saying, like, I'm pissed. And I was trying to like not put that out there that I was mad about it. I tried to hold on to it, but I was like in the midst of like going back and forth. So I was actually, and so after I did that, that person kind of calmed me down, basically telling me, like, you're being dramatic. And so I was like, So that's you call me. No, and when he told me I was being dramatic, I was like, damn, he's right.

SPEAKER_03 34:00

Oh, it was a he too? Oh no, that didn't go well.

SPEAKER_01 34:02

No, it was, it did. Because I just laughed. I'm like, you know what? He was right. I was being dramatic because I was just basically like, I hate people. And he was like, because you're disagreeing with your friend right now, like, why would you say that? So I was I was being dramatic in my like what I was saying. I opened my Bible, I literally went to scripture, and and like that was something that kind of just like level headed me for at first, and then I was like, okay, calm down. And then I went to my cousin, who was like a go-to, um, stop laughing at me. And that's when I kind of was like, okay, and I calmed my way through. We ended up being fine.

SPEAKER_02 34:41

I was like, is she reading the Bible? How she explained it at last? Yeah, that's what it's nigga.

SPEAKER_04 34:46

And then I was gonna suggest that you pulled up, do uh Sharon scriptures every episode.

SPEAKER_03 34:55

Then they pulled up.

SPEAKER_04 34:56

That was shallow.

SPEAKER_01 35:00

Sharron scriptures is funny. I should just do like every day.

SPEAKER_02 35:03

Just give people like a little little, yeah. I think it's I promise you.

SPEAKER_01 35:08

That should'll probably be like That might be a thing, huh?

SPEAKER_03 35:12

She's not gonna remember where the idea came from.

SPEAKER_01 35:14

What'd you say?

SPEAKER_04 35:15

Let's remember where the idea came from.

SPEAKER_01 35:16

I will, I will, I will. I ain't gonna do it, but you know. But no, that was my that's my process. Not every time, like not in every situation, but that for that moment, that was my process. And it was funny because like when I read scripture, it the Bible always seems to take you where you need to go. And it gave me like the fruit of the spirit, and I was just like, okay, I need to be kinder, be patient with her because we really were having a misunderstanding. I didn't even oh like a broad statement, like we really were misunderstanding each other. So, and then everything so you were dramatic.

SPEAKER_03 35:48

Those are my favorite.

SPEAKER_01 35:49

I was dramatic, I was for sure dramatic because I was like, no, she got me effed up. And I'm gonna tell you though, the reason why I was dramatic. I don't know why you think it cheese when you're childish. I know because I do be trying to be mindful of not causing someone.

SPEAKER_02 36:05

Did you look back at everything and go, oh yeah, I was tripping? Or did you go?

SPEAKER_01 36:12

I'm right. Okay. Let me I for the for the what the disagreement was, I was right because she didn't understand, but I was the one that was right for the disagreement. Where I was wrong was the dramatics.

SPEAKER_02 36:27

Because Okay, so you did see that.

SPEAKER_01 36:29

My dramatics came from because I I went further than like there's a tool where you're supposed to be like, you listen to the words that are being said, not what you're believing. My thing was she I felt like she had me messed up. I felt like she thought I was trying to play her, and I would never try to play my friend. So I'm just like, how dare you like try to act like I'm trying to play you? That's why I was trying to.

SPEAKER_02 36:52

I would have been I would have stopped the conversation. I'd be like, hey, we could talk another time because you tripping.

SPEAKER_01 36:56

No, I didn't really, I didn't really, I didn't really trip with her. All my frustration was in those other text messages with my cousin and when I was Oh, the other people.

SPEAKER_02 37:06

Okay. That's fine. You did it right. You didn't take it out on your own.

SPEAKER_01 37:10

No, no, yeah. She but I don't uh yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 37:12

I don't know. She liked that.

SPEAKER_03 37:18

That mean that means she said some words and she probably wouldn't have said it had she had not felt like she was.

SPEAKER_01 37:24

Yeah. But I was just direct. I just got to the point where I was just like, no, this, this, this, this, this. Like, no, because you got me like what are you talking about?

SPEAKER_02 37:33

F'd up. Fuck.

SPEAKER_01 37:34

That's the next question.

SPEAKER_02 37:35

I'm sorry, Scott. Sorry about that.

SPEAKER_04 37:38

You getting beat up today. Um I know panic for me was uh Panic? Like, it was my use first reaction to shit.

SPEAKER_01 37:48

What does panic look like for you though?

SPEAKER_04 37:49

Can a nigga finish the I because I usually I get hot anxiety. So panic was like an automatic reaction.

SPEAKER_03 37:56

Hot anxiety? High anxiety. I thought you said hot anxiety. That's part of anxiety.

SPEAKER_04 38:00

That's part of it.

SPEAKER_01 38:01

I was like, we know you get hot anxiety.

SPEAKER_04 38:03

I live in Southern California, so it's possible. Um but yeah, high anxiety, and then I would start like fidgeting, and I'd start freaking out, and you really don't think things clearly in that moment. So eventually you have to start doing exercises, take deep breaths, count, try to figure out a way to just calm down and then deal with the problem. Like I had to even do with it that this week.

SPEAKER_03 38:25

So you gotta ground yourself.

When It Felt Like The End

SPEAKER_04 38:27

Yeah, so I have to get to a point where I calm down and be like, all right, now let's assess what the fuck's going on right now and then get to a problem solution. Um, but yeah, it started with panic and then eventually I had to learn that panic didn't get me any fucking way. So Yeah. So can you share one moment in your life where you felt like a setback was the end, but it actually ended up not being the case?

SPEAKER_02 38:52

I don't know. Trying to think. I mean, there is one time. I'm gonna go way back to then we got caught smoking. Smoking what cigarettes in the space we wasn't supposed to smoke. Well, somebody snitched on us. And like it's always a snitch. He's a bitch.

SPEAKER_01 39:10

But was he he just saw y'all or he No, he wasn't he wasn't in the cool group.

SPEAKER_02 39:15

Yeah, no, and like I thought, I thought we were like toast because a ship had just caught on fire because some niggas was smoking somewhere and like they lit the whole motor.

SPEAKER_03 39:25

Oh my god. Not from a cigarette, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:28

Because they were smoking and it was by a paint space, and they threw the cigarette over the mob.

SPEAKER_03 39:34

That's arrogant.

SPEAKER_02 39:35

They were dumb. But they were making it a big deal to not smoke in those spaces. So I was like, once we got caught, I was like, nigga, it's over. Like, this is it. But I guess I found out um we're a little more valuable to the team than other niggas? Then yeah, because the the Chiefs never told on us. He was like, Oh, I didn't tell. I just wanted y'all to squirm for like two weeks. Yeah. I was like, oh, well then like in that moment we kind of learned where our value was to the crew. The crew were just like, nothing happened, but don't do that again. So like that's one of those. Did the chief tell y'all who told? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He had us in the room. He had us in the room together. He wrote a snitch in there with it. I think because we kind of guilty nigga.

SPEAKER_03 40:28

We finna throw these hands after we leave this room.

SPEAKER_01 40:30

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 40:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:31

That's crazy. Mo?

SPEAKER_03 40:34

I don't have an answer. I uh I I exceed all my I exceed all my time to Strong.

SPEAKER_02 40:42

I don't think he's accepting that. You lying.

SPEAKER_01 40:45

Do you have anything?

SPEAKER_02 40:47

Why are we trying to swerve this? Yeah. No setbacks that you thought was.

SPEAKER_01 40:52

I ain't got no setbacks.

SPEAKER_02 40:53

I did listen to the problem last week. I'm trying to think.

SPEAKER_01 40:58

That felt like the end.

SPEAKER_04 41:00

Yeah, um, that felt like the end, but I'll told you.

SPEAKER_03 41:05

Honestly, it ain't the buying the house was the problem. It's everything that comes up after you buy the house.

SPEAKER_02 41:09

When I was in the escrow thing, like something popped up and nigga, I like was crying because I was like, I didn't even know I had to fucking pay this. Like, where'd this come from? We ain't getting this house and somehow it worked out. It was nothing. I was like, we're about to stay in this two-bedroom.

SPEAKER_04 41:25

I'll say, um, just dealing with um there's certain things in school. I what's funny is, you know, in hindsight when you look back, but in school, it's like there were certain instances that happened with uh almost getting jumped one time and thinking like, this is it. Like, these niggas have to catch me. It's a done deal. But I've told the story on here before, but like those track niggas, man, I d I don't know if it's just because I knew the right people or if God was watching me, but they ended up uh having my back in that moment and they were like, nah, let them niggas come over here and try you. I said, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 42:02

Yeah, that's what I felt like these niggas was ready to fight. Yeah, they do.

SPEAKER_04 42:05

He's like, let them niggas come over here. I said, Oh shit. And then I was like, they got my back. I don't even know these niggas. But um that was one moment where I was like, damn, I'm about to get jumped, they about to fuck me up. Like, and um, it didn't happen. But I remember feeling like the whole, like it was like Mike in the wood.

SPEAKER_03 42:22

Sweating different big mic. I think she's pretty, that's all.

SPEAKER_04 42:25

Sweating like a hooker in church.

SPEAKER_03 42:27

I was like, uh, favorite line in the uh beat the nigga ass to like a ticking like a chip.

SPEAKER_02 42:34

That wasn't a set. I don't know if I could talk a go ahead, Stacy. Nah, that's that's incriminating. Oh, don't do that, dude. Don't say my name, homie.

SPEAKER_04 42:43

Yeah, it was an adolescent. You feel like that's just the end because you're like, oh my god, I don't know how this could go. I could get expelled, my dad's gonna whoop my ass.

SPEAKER_01 42:49

Like And I'm gonna get my ass eat.

SPEAKER_04 42:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:53

I think if you would ask me this question two years ago, I have a different answer. But I think today, every um quote unquote setback has been an opportunity for me to evolve. Um when I lost my grandparents, it's like okay, now I have to figure out how to live life. Like, set on my own two feet. Um so I I I don't really I guess I my my view of them is different. Um I guess I'm in my uh my my my whole era. Like I just just a lesson I try to learn from.

SPEAKER_04 43:23

Did you you said what era? Ho. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 43:27

Not hoe.

SPEAKER_01 43:31

Your whole phase, you and your whole phase.

SPEAKER_03 43:33

I said he's in his whole era. What the hell happened? Shit, if I'm single next year, I might be. Nah, I'm playing. I can't afford it.

SPEAKER_01 43:39

Right?

SPEAKER_02 43:40

Can't even go on date. Hey, nigga. You want me to pick you up?

SPEAKER_01 43:44

Y'all are so stupid. You seen it?

SPEAKER_02 43:47

We gonna zoom.

SPEAKER_01 43:48

If you've seen me on OmniFans, don't ask no questions. I can imagine that.

SPEAKER_03 43:52

We're gonna FaceTime. I'm gonna turn on my Netflix, you turn on your Netflix. We're gonna start the movie at the same time.

SPEAKER_01 43:57

COVID dance.

SPEAKER_03 43:58

Because gas is highest.

SPEAKER_01 44:00

Your apples here. No. No, I I think I mean I already gave a big one in my life that I'm still seeing, I'm still reaping the benefits of from leaving that nigga.

SPEAKER_04 44:13

Wow. You see cereal, no milk. Ate the shit with a fork.

SPEAKER_01 44:18

I guess I guess I could say though, um, so my grandmother passed away, it'll be three years. I I always say she passed away right after I turned 35. My 35th birthday, my 35th birthday was on the first. She passed away of the same month. And I just felt like a tremendous just shift in my life after that. And it was, I I remember I um spoke at her funeral, and I all I could think of was as sad as I was that my granny was gone. Like I just was so like filled with gratitude of having had her for as many years, like she was 97. Like, you know. Um, so everybody was just, I felt like I was just so grateful. Like I really had my granny for all of these years, like my whole life, and I was close to her and I just loved her so much. And she's full and every like all these things, right? To be grateful for. Um, and I felt the grief part of it sent me, it was like a pairing of being joyful for the gratitude that I had, but also the um, so that kind of sent me into an isolation. Um, and I think that kind of started things, but it also it got me closer to God. My my relationship, like I've always known God, I always knew the Bible, but I just like dove. Um, and that was what created a lot of who I am now. So I guess you can call it, I don't want to set back, um, but the loss of her.

SPEAKER_03 45:47

It was a springboard. Did it was a springboard.

unknown 45:51

Yeah.

Handling Setbacks Better With Age

SPEAKER_01 45:52

Oh, I get you. Yeah. Um, and then even like I grew really one of my cousins that I was already really close with, I grew up like a sister with her, but we developed more of a relationship, like reading the Bible together and like or you know, sharing and stuff like that. So um I think it molded a lot of who I want to become because I got to knowing my grandmother's life as long as I did. I got to now because we had the different people that spoke at the funeral, and just it was like now I'm seeing her life here, and I'm just kind of like, look, I want that. You know what I mean? There's so much of her that I want to have that I want to now embody. So it started the it changed the trajectory of my life. I gave me a pivot where I think it was already there for me. Like, I'm not a completely different person, but it was already there, but it just dive in, like really like uh lock in. It made me lock in on what I really, really, really want to be myself.

SPEAKER_04 46:53

So would you say that you handle setbacks better or differently now versus when you were younger?

SPEAKER_03 47:00

Uh definitely say better. I got more tools. When I was younger, I was just younger dumb. Just doing, huh?

SPEAKER_02 47:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:10

I was gonna say I know what you were saying. I stopped myself.

SPEAKER_01 47:15

Ignorant.

SPEAKER_03 47:17

Um why gotta be ignorant? You tell me. You tell me just ignorant.

SPEAKER_01 47:23

Ignant. He's ignorant too.

SPEAKER_03 47:28

I'm so happy my wife's gonna be here today. But ain't it this shit.

SPEAKER_02 47:31

What's up? How you doing? What up? Uh much better. Um and I handle it much better, swimmingly. Oh, swimming. Swimmingly now.

SPEAKER_01 47:39

I feel like I used to just let life happen to me.

SPEAKER_02 47:41

Nah, I didn't give a fuck. I was just out there like that.

SPEAKER_01 47:44

Let life happen to you.

SPEAKER_02 47:45

Hey, shit happened, dog. Hey, let's go do this.

SPEAKER_03 47:48

I mean, nigga.

SPEAKER_02 47:49

I guess that's kind of running from shit at that point, if you think about it. Avoidance, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:53

No avoidance. I used to just uh let it happen, and I didn't have the lesson. Like, I I genuinely, like now in certain spaces, sometimes I'd be like, oh damn, like I could pull a lesson from something when I was 21 that when it happened, it just happened.

SPEAKER_02 48:11

I was like, now that would maneuver some bullshit.

SPEAKER_03 48:14

You ever been like a couple weeks removed or a couple years removed from situation, and you think about it, like, you know what? God damn it, I was looking at this shit all wrong at the time.

SPEAKER_02 48:22

All the time. I don't know. I just I was thinking about when I would like be missing rent, and I was like, nigga, I'm gonna just go buy roast beef, some motherfucking mac and cheese, and just fill the fridge up. And be like, y'all niggas go forget this.

SPEAKER_01 48:38

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 48:39

So I learned how to maneuver that. Yeah, it's back. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:44

And it's right over here.

SPEAKER_03 48:45

No, there's five.

SPEAKER_02 48:46

Yeah, there's you've been count?

SPEAKER_03 48:48

Yeah, there's yeah, like there's five.

SPEAKER_02 48:51

Good guy. Uh I thought you said five. I thought you were with a five.

SPEAKER_03 48:54

I know I thought he said five. I count. There's five.

SPEAKER_02 48:56

You did count. I count five. I'll get a new thing. Um, but yeah, yeah, I I I handle it way better now. Not different, because I didn't really handle it.

SPEAKER_01 49:03

So right. That's a very good point.

SPEAKER_04 49:09

I can say I handle things way better now than I did before. I said that panic shit, the anxiety is is just no way uh to to manage the anxiety because that shit don't go away. You get better. You have a barometer now.

SPEAKER_02 49:21

Like you have a baseline, you know what is what.

SPEAKER_01 49:24

Well, you have to pay attention to the history of your life. That's like what did what is the history of my life look like for this? Like, what what did I do this time? Or, you know, like how did I come out of this? We have our own. It's like everybody all books and all this type of stuff. You have like all these study guides to go through, but then you also have yourself. Sometimes you have to like, what did I do here? Do I want to do different or do I want to do the same thing? Oh great. Okay, shaft. I'll give you the same. Next question. How would you say you fucking shaft?

SPEAKER_04 49:55

How would you say you personally process failures?

SPEAKER_01 49:58

I don't fail. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 50:02

You failed today. What is that? You failed today.

SPEAKER_01 50:05

I failed you. I didn't I didn't fail my fault. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:08

Okay, okay, that's true. That's true. That's true. That's how I feel.

SPEAKER_02 50:12

That happens. Yeah. It's just how you how you deal with it, how you deal with the failure part. If uh you quit or you figure out a new way to do the same thing, or if you're like, maybe, maybe my move won't do something different. Never know. Yeah. But I I I don't I don't take it as, damn, this is the end of the world type thing. I don't know what the kids say type shit. Type shit.

SPEAKER_01 50:34

My kids just be like, type.

SPEAKER_04 50:36

So would you say with everything we talked about, would you say that you were taught how to deal with setbacks or failures from like parents, or would you say this life in itself?

SPEAKER_02 50:49

Nah, it's life. Life, yeah. Because you can watch your parents and be like, hey, y'all did that wrong, because I seen them do that, and what y'all did, very wrong.

SPEAKER_03 51:00

Or right, either way, like, you know. I I think I read something one time and it says, like, when you once you uh get old enough to realize that your parents were just children dealing with day trauma, it's easy it's easier to understand them.

SPEAKER_02 51:13

Or get outside of it.

SPEAKER_03 51:14

Well, they did the best they could.

SPEAKER_01 51:15

Some of them getting them no slaps. I just think that our our generation of parents, they didn't have any insight or any desire to to like understand.

SPEAKER_02 51:29

Well, our our parents come from the baby boomers, right? So they were just getting pumped out, and then they was like, those parents was just still living. And you like, so y'all kind of was just yeah, here's life. Yeah, so it was like that's that's where the they was just trying to figure it out. Yeah, the grace.

SPEAKER_01 51:47

But they was trying to figure out like the outward, they was trying to figure out okay, I gotta get this money by tomorrow.

SPEAKER_02 51:52

Like, they wasn't trying to figure out now their their inner working when I be talking to them, I'd be pissed off talking to them about housing, and I'm like, so how'd you fuck this up? Because you said that house was eighty thousand. Wait a second, why don't we have three of these motherfuckers?

SPEAKER_01 52:10

Like, but 80,000, I was different to them.

SPEAKER_03 52:13

The minimum wage was three dollars. Right. So that 80,000 look like 300.

SPEAKER_01 52:19

My grandma told me that the first house that the house well that my cousins live in now, a house that she got built in the early 50s, she told me that it was ten thousand dollars, and she laughed and she was just like, she's like, it seemed like so much money then. Yeah, it's ten thousand dollars. That's crazy.

Pride Ego And Asking For Help

SPEAKER_04 52:39

How much does uh ego and pride play in your uh decision making during setbacks or feeling? I have no ego okay. The mother for me, no, it's not no ego in the ego.

SPEAKER_03 52:49

No, no, when it comes to decisions, no, it's not ego. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04 52:51

I thought that you meant you had no ego on me.

SPEAKER_03 52:53

Oh no, yeah, you know. Slinger. Did you just say hang with a bass over here? Definitely leave ego out when it comes to that, you know, but you know.

SPEAKER_01 53:06

Ego in decision making.

SPEAKER_04 53:07

Yeah, because sometimes ego can play the part in who you decide to ask for help or yeah, or oh that part?

SPEAKER_03 53:13

Yeah, I ain't asked me to go. I gotta be down.

SPEAKER_04 53:16

I gotta be down bad. Or your pride will play a part where you're like, ah, no, I I need to do this myself.

SPEAKER_01 53:21

Pride is I don't I try to not be prideful. I try I I feel like I'm not prideful. Because I I know what being pride is are you proud of are you proud of anything? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 53:31

Prideful. Yeah, it's not it depends on how you're what you're going after and how you do that.

SPEAKER_03 53:37

She didn't ask for backup, nigga.

SPEAKER_01 53:40

I'm just saying pride and being proud of something. That's what pride is.

SPEAKER_02 53:44

That's the definition of pride.

SPEAKER_01 53:46

But it's it's the way you convey it. You can be proud of something. Exactly. Boastful and pride, they go hand in hand. Being proud of something, no, they do. Because what do you mean?

SPEAKER_02 53:59

I'm proud of uh all the shit I've accomplished, but I don't be out and you know, dangling it in people's faces, right?

SPEAKER_01 54:07

But no, that's my point. Being proud of something is over here, being pride and boastful. I mean, having pride and being boastful, they go hand in hand. Didn't that nigga what didn't this nigga fill his truck up on life?

SPEAKER_04 54:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:24

Wait, what happened?

SPEAKER_04 54:27

It was 150. I wasn't boastful. I was asking for hurting.

SPEAKER_02 54:33

That was my ego being gonna break. Hey, if y'all want to hit the catch, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:42

It was like I was begging, actually. I think that there's um well, I like to see a difference though. I mean, there's ego, but I like to look at I look at it from the perspective of like your spirit and your your flesh. And I try to not do based on what my flesh is driving me to do. I like to feed into my spirit more so. Okay.

Best Advice For Life Detours

SPEAKER_04 55:08

So we all agree that with setbacks and failures has been blessings, right?

SPEAKER_01 55:13

Every time.

SPEAKER_04 55:14

So to the people that listen, what one piece of advice would you give them when dealing with setbacks?

SPEAKER_02 55:20

This is gonna sound weird. Sit in it for a minute.

SPEAKER_01 55:23

No, that's not weird. That's true.

SPEAKER_02 55:26

I don't know where his brain's at, but I'm talking about sitting at the the whole thing.

SPEAKER_01 55:31

Heaven, that's not weird. That is absolutely, keep going.

SPEAKER_02 55:39

That's what I got is sitting there. She's trying to like just get her thoughts together.

SPEAKER_01 55:44

No, I'm yeah, I'm trying to not hijack what you said. No, go ahead. No, that's that's where I'm loved what you said, and I just wanted you to say a little more. She does where I'm at.

SPEAKER_03 55:54

She does got the habit of like taking what we say, and then like, I'm gonna just expand on this from my point of view. Like, and don't have to shit. She said, don't be original. I just let this shit slide.

SPEAKER_02 56:05

That's hate, by the way.

SPEAKER_03 56:09

Hate their shit. Hey, hey. I would just say, man, um yeah, I mean not that I'm gonna say pause, but you know, take the take it to the chess. Pause. To the what? To the chess. Take it to the chess.

SPEAKER_02 56:22

What's that mean? Like just embrace it.

SPEAKER_03 56:25

Like similar to what you're saying, embrace it and and and see because some sometimes niggas like I I truly believe it's a lesson.

SPEAKER_02 56:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 56:33

It's it's something, it's something that you can learn from it, something you can grow. It might be something small, might be something major, but you I also I also have a mindset of how how I respond or how I react to this may also may set off a greater chain of events that are that's gonna make my life that much more happier or easier.

SPEAKER_02 56:51

Like, question your first reaction. Don't just do it. Like Yeah. Like, is this a good idea? I like that.

SPEAKER_03 56:57

Go ahead and steal something from no wow.

SPEAKER_02 56:59

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_04 57:00

You go I wish that was a button. Wow. I'll say the lesson or the the advice I gave was I understood very, very, very, very quickly is to pay attention to the signs. Because I look at shit like when I'm going through shit, I just look around my like my surroundings, and there'll be something in my surroundings that'll make me realize that shit ain't what you think it is, especially if it feels like the world's coming down on you.

unknown 57:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 57:32

I'll look at something, for example, at fucking 19, I felt like fucking world was crumbling at that moment because I only had a fucking part-time job, and I saw one legged man standing in front of Blockbuster. I said, damn, if he can be happy about life, nigga, you can figure this shit out.

SPEAKER_03 57:48

Nigga, you gotta change the the store. Don't say blockbuster no more. Blockbuster, it really happened.

SPEAKER_04 57:54

But but but you can update the real life. I'm not the game, nigga. I don't I don't overexpand every time and change it. It was 50 niggas this time.

SPEAKER_03 58:03

I saw I saw I saw a one-legged man outside of Chick-fil-A, and I said, you know what ain't that bad.

SPEAKER_01 58:07

Nigga, we didn't have no Chick-fil-A when he was 19.

SPEAKER_03 58:09

That's the point. That's the point. I'm not saying man.

SPEAKER_01 58:12

Chick-fil-A was still in Atlanta. They didn't have a period yet.

SPEAKER_04 58:15

You can think you lying face. Nigga, the game can lie and expand on some shit. I'm not going to black, but he's one of the.

SPEAKER_01 58:21

Yeah, I like when they do uh the little compilation of him saying the same freestyle over and over again.

SPEAKER_04 58:27

Apparently he's uses the same lines in the DMs, too.

SPEAKER_01 58:30

Yes, I did see that. Pick up a line.

SPEAKER_04 58:32

He's horrible.

SPEAKER_01 58:33

Um, my answer is yeah, I think that you should embrace it. You should sit in it. No, um, seriously, uh find yourself a routine or like a practice. I think that um to self-reflect and see what allowed you to get through something hard before. And if it worked, then use that. Give yourself a practice so that way when you're hit over the head with something again that feels like a setback or is hard for you, um, return to work for you over and over again.

SPEAKER_04 59:09

So I think that's it. That's it. In the words of Hove, a loss and a loss is a lesson.

SPEAKER_02 59:15

Hey.

SPEAKER_04 59:18

With that being said, this has been episode 238 of the Heavyweight Collective. Yeah, yeah. Like, subscribe, share, and comment. All that shit. Till next time. We love you. Peace. Peace. Goodbye. Mac and cheese.

SPEAKER_01 59:29

Goodbye. Sweaty.

SPEAKER_02 59:34

That's right, y'all. That's that's how she rep. So make sure you click like, subscribe. Tune in, we're on the Australian platform. So until next time, we'll highlight you.