Not Everyone Deserves Access

This episode dives into boundaries, peace, and what it really means when someone pulls back. We talk about how therapy, rest, and real conversations help us reset—while making space for mutual care and clarity.

If you’ve been judged for going silent or are just learning to set new limits, this is the reminder you needed.

Thanks for tapping in with The Heavyweight Collective!
Make sure you follow, subscribe, and share with someone who needs this convo. Catch us on all socials for clips, updates, and more behind the mic. https://linktr.ee/TheHeavyweightPodcast

Transcript

Cold Open, Banter, And Setup

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Don't look at me strong. I'm nervous. I don't public speak.

SPEAKER_05 0:04

Shut up.

SPEAKER_02 0:04

You do. No, I public talk shit. It's different.

SPEAKER_05 0:11

It is different.

SPEAKER_02 0:12

Talking shit is different than public speaking. I can talk shit with the best of them.

SPEAKER_00 0:18

I feel like that requires more concentration. Does it? To talk shit? Because you don't want to fuck up.

SPEAKER_02 0:25

I have though.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

And I just keep going.

unknown 0:29

I guess.

SPEAKER_02 0:30

Yeah. Definitely on the bullshit.

SPEAKER_00 0:32

You just don't be uh, what was his name? Uh Kramer.

SPEAKER_02 0:37

I'll say nigga, I'm fine.

SPEAKER_00 0:40

But he didn't say nigga.

SPEAKER_02 0:41

Oh, he said er?

SPEAKER_00 0:43

But he doubled down and it did not go his way.

Theme: Distance Vs. Disinterest

SPEAKER_02 0:45

Oh at all. Damn. Well, you know what? Before you judge someone for being distant, ask yourself did they pull away? Or were they just tired of uh explaining themselves? Uh we live in a time where silence gets labeled as disinterest, disrespect, or even guilt. But sometimes distance isn't a lack of care, it's a lack of capacity. This is episode 228 of Heavyweight Podcast. I'm your boy Molito. I'm here with these people. State your names real quick for the people.

SPEAKER_05 1:15

I'm Sharon.

SPEAKER_02 1:17

I'm the chap lip gap captain, Kevin.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Uh flow sticker pandemic.

SPEAKER_02 1:23

This this nigga said chap lip. And I'm I'm lost. After chap lip. This nigga said chap lip. Why would you own that? Because my lips is chap as fuck.

SPEAKER_00 1:32

It is windy outside.

SPEAKER_02 1:33

It is pretty windy, I'm sorry. We gotta give him that. How's everybody feeling? How's your week? How you been? This has been a long time. We haven't seen you guys since Christmas.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

I didn't want to talk to none of y'all niggas because the first time you guys made that stupid ass motherfucking group chat. Oh, green bubble shit. So hi, how are you guys? Still sick. No, I'm still. Did I start it before I even text anything? This green bubble got me sick.

SPEAKER_05 1:59

And I was like, well, this hadn't said a word.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

But I'm good.

SPEAKER_05 2:05

We didn't even see the green bubble yet. And we was already sick of the green bubble.

SPEAKER_01 2:09

I know I was somebody and I was like, Well then fuck these niggas. I ain't texting them.

SPEAKER_02 2:15

But good. Just for clarity, uh McFly started the group chat. Yes. And and I was the first one to comment with please keep those, please keep me away from the androids. And Sharon did laugh.

SPEAKER_05 2:27

I laughed.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

And then y'all just kept.

SPEAKER_02 2:28

And then Sharon said the green bubble got me straight.

SPEAKER_01 2:30

Then there was a throw-up emoji. And yeah. And then there was more.

SPEAKER_04 2:33

Oh, you remember. Oh, no. I remember. I remember. I remember scarred. We can tell.

SPEAKER_01 2:38

I was triggered. So it sounds like the Android niggas take it personal. Yeah, because it's better. But we know. It's fine. Y'all niggas just look weird. Give us a quick ass niggas.

SPEAKER_05 2:47

Weird is a crazy word. Give us a quick story. Weird is very offensive.

SPEAKER_01 2:51

Weird is a very offensive word. That's California weird. California is it's only weird in California. People get mad in California. That's it. Well, how was your time off? Good. I quit smoking. All of it. All of what? Cigarettes and weed.

SPEAKER_05 3:04

Supposed to clap.

SPEAKER_01 3:05

Oh, hold on. Get it to me. Why? Can we ask why? I just need to. My lungs ain't, you know, built for that.

SPEAKER_02 3:16

So I guess you would say. So it had nothing to do with your Johnson not working? No. I was not one of them situations. No, I got pills, nigga. Like, I'm gonna set this one out.

SPEAKER_01 3:33

That's what's up. It's 2026. It ain't never gonna not work. Like, who are you talking about?

SPEAKER_04 3:38

No, we're still gone.

SPEAKER_02 3:39

So did you have a good Christmas?

unknown 3:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:41

Well, yeah. Sorta. How about New Year? I was at work. Okay. I was at work.

SPEAKER_05 3:48

I said on the on New Year's Eve?

SPEAKER_01 3:50

Yeah. I was asleep.

SPEAKER_05 3:52

I worked on New Year's Eve, but not at night.

SPEAKER_01 3:53

I was sleeping at night. Gasoline don't stop. Don't stop. Hydrogen don't stop. Don't stop.

SPEAKER_00 3:57

I took a vacation.

unknown 3:58

Oh.

SPEAKER_05 3:59

That's what's up. Yay.

SPEAKER_00 4:00

That's about it. But I took a vacation. Five days straight. Oh fuck. I got paid for all of it. Oh, no.

SPEAKER_05 4:08

Stature limitations ain't up. Time off. You should be talking about this right now.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

Come get me.

SPEAKER_02 4:17

So how was your uh how was your New Year's and Christmas dance, though?

SPEAKER_00 4:20

Uh it was great. I went to the to the chiropractor multiple times.

SPEAKER_05 4:24

Oh, that's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 4:24

You got cracked, huh? Got cracked. Pause. No, I'm not pausing that one. It felt good to get cracked.

SPEAKER_05 4:30

See? I will say it does.

SPEAKER_00 4:32

And then the massage on top of that? Oh, yeah. Deep tissue. Felt like a new man. I didn't bitch up either. Deep tissue is crazy. That's after being cracked. Did you get a dude? The first time I did. Yesterday I did not. Whoa. She did the deep tissue, so it was like some big bitch.

SPEAKER_05 4:51

She could have just been strong, y'all.

SPEAKER_00 4:53

I'll say she was strong.

SPEAKER_05 4:54

God damn.

SPEAKER_04 4:56

Fuck crazy.

SPEAKER_00 4:58

I'll say she was strong. I won't call her. I'll say she was strong. That's hilarious, nigga. Sorry.

SPEAKER_05 5:05

Sharon. I just can't stand it. Uh Christmas was great. I know I'm just. I ended up with that tree stand.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

Oh, yeah, that's right. I always forgot.

SPEAKER_05 5:19

We didn't have to lean it. We ended up with a tree stand. That's good.

SPEAKER_02 5:23

I saw what you cooked. Yeah, I'm waiting for my plate. Yeah, I said, I'm about to pull up, nigga.

SPEAKER_05 5:30

Oh no, y'all, what are y'all talking about? My roast.

SPEAKER_02 5:32

No, you do. No, it was. It was like some greens or some other shit.

SPEAKER_05 5:35

Oh, oh, yeah, you're right. I was like, you didn't know what you cooked. You just I cook every day.

SPEAKER_00 5:40

And every time I was like, where's my plate?

SPEAKER_05 5:42

He does. She does. He really does. I'll be feeling bad. Like, damn, in the morning. But I get up at like six to come here. Sometimes I'll be like, let me see if I make something the night before.

SPEAKER_00 5:52

You don't feel that bad. She came for the buck with me, though. She told me she was like, it might not make it to you. So she's like, it's not. I I respect that.

SPEAKER_05 5:59

You gotta pull up.

SPEAKER_02 6:00

I've said that many times. I said, hey nigga, I've cooked. You might want to come get it.

SPEAKER_05 6:06

Everybody I know. I mean, it's always I cook. I mean, it's me and my three girl, my three daughters, but it's always enough for people to do it. Your three mini mees. I said, God damn.

SPEAKER_02 6:14

Yeah, them niggas look just like. So them niggas copied and paste.

SPEAKER_05 6:17

You want to know what's worse? Is all them niggas act like me in different ways. And that's scary.

SPEAKER_02 6:22

Damn. Y'all different ways.

SPEAKER_05 6:24

Even down to the five-year-old.

SPEAKER_02 6:25

Y'all over there just fucking uh hoop riding no niggas together.

SPEAKER_05 6:28

Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah. But niggas on the set. It's fun. It's fun. The five-year-old, she thinks she's funny like me. Like I think I'm the funniest motherfucker alive.

SPEAKER_02 6:36

No, that five-year-old hilarious. Because she honestly gives no filter. Kids have no filter. No.

SPEAKER_05 6:43

It's tight. But uh New Year's was good. Um, I don't do nothing on New Year's, but New Year's was great.

SPEAKER_02 6:49

That's what's up. And we know black IPs and greens.

SPEAKER_05 6:52

You know what? I'm I'm I did something new this year. I didn't do the black eyed.

SPEAKER_02 6:55

Oh shit. What did you do? Fuck. Change me. Switch things with me, nigga. What did you do? She done fucked up the now we now we can have a bad year because she need on black eyebs.

SPEAKER_04 7:03

No, no.

SPEAKER_02 7:04

I ate some. Don't drink. Don't try. I'll have some too. We're good. We good. We good.

SPEAKER_04 7:08

Yeah, you only need one. We're good.

SPEAKER_02 7:09

We're good. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. So did you get a spoonful of black eyed peas for New Year's? I didn't.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

It was at this moment. He knew he fucked up.

SPEAKER_02 7:20

Yeah, we got two out of four.

SPEAKER_05 7:21

We cool.

SPEAKER_01 7:21

Yeah, I got two.

SPEAKER_05 7:22

I didn't make any.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 7:24

I didn't do any of the um I don't know what you call it.

SPEAKER_02 7:27

Nigga shit.

SPEAKER_05 7:28

I didn't do any of the uh traditional. Not traditional. Uh uh I can't think of the word. Anyway, I didn't do any of that stuff this year.

SPEAKER_02 7:36

I we don't know what that stuff is because you can't think of the word.

SPEAKER_05 7:38

The black IPs, the the greens for money, the black IPs for good love.

SPEAKER_03 7:43

I do I do clean my house superstitious stuff.

SPEAKER_05 7:46

I didn't do any of the superstitious stuff. I do clean up. I don't clean my house throughout the year. I'm not gonna clean on the house. No, no, no, no. I cannot stand you. Um I got my Christmas decorations down and everything on that day and did like a but I just I do make sure I do that, but I didn't do all of the other like ritualistic things. Um I just was on my knees praying at at at midnight, which is what my granny taught me to do. So that's what sucks. I did do that and I just left it at that.

SPEAKER_02 8:13

You just let the year just slide on in, huh? Let's let the year just slide in.

SPEAKER_05 8:17

Yeah, letting the the year slide in, letting God do his thing. I don't need all the rest of that stuff.

SPEAKER_02 8:22

And yeah, now I was gonna say, you know, my holidays were fucked up.

SPEAKER_05 8:26

After all that. Why?

Parenting, Projects, And Family Traditions

SPEAKER_02 8:30

I spend a large amount of touch on that. I spent a large amount of resources to redo this girl's room for her to still sleep in my bed.

SPEAKER_05 8:38

You know it goes like that though.

SPEAKER_02 8:40

It took me six and a half hours to put the IKEA bed together. You said six and a half hours? Six and a half hours, nigga. I started New Year's, I started Christmas Eve at 3 30. Did you not use power tools? Nigga, I did. No, I started off. I started off not doing it.

SPEAKER_05 8:55

If you don't do it, just say that.

SPEAKER_02 8:56

Because I didn't want to break shit. But I was like, you know what? Fuck this. We're my drilling. Yeah. Um it wasn't that I didn't, it was, it just it was just a lot of fucking pieces. It was a truffle bed. Yeah. So it's it's it's a it's a twin that comes out to a queen. So I had to build like three different components and then put those components together. So I had to clear the room out to make space for everything to build the shit. Number one.

SPEAKER_06 9:23

Oh, good dad. Good job.

SPEAKER_02 9:24

So I ended up putting a bed together and two bookshelves together Christmas Eve. Now I gotta put a dresser and something else together on fucking Christmas Day.

SPEAKER_05 9:31

Was that like her Christmas?

SPEAKER_02 9:33

Her room, her room was her Christmas gift. Oh. So she got a whole new room. Oh, I love that. Yeah, so and and and Kendall and shit. And then so then I put shit together just like dad, I need books. Can I get a break?

SPEAKER_00 9:45

I mean by state law, you're I should I should get paid, right?

SPEAKER_02 9:48

I get a break, right? Anyway, yeah, so um my only benefit is that I didn't cook. I made it very clear I'm not cooking for Christmas or New Year's. I will I take that back. I was gonna cook on New Year's, but I wanted gumbo. But she said that her mama can't have gumbo. So because she alerted to see seafood, so I said I'm not cooking.

SPEAKER_05 10:07

So what y'all have?

SPEAKER_02 10:08

She made a roast.

SPEAKER_05 10:09

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 10:10

Yeah, I didn't cook. No, no, no, I'm sorry, that was Christmas. For New Year's, we went to my grandfather for my father-in-law's house. He made me he made chicken hogs and black-eyed peas and yes.

SPEAKER_04 10:18

They did all that.

SPEAKER_02 10:18

I didn't go over there, but I was like, man, I ain't had a hog mogs since my granny. So I ate one just because I missed her. Now shit was fire.

SPEAKER_05 10:25

I miss my granny, but not hogs enough. Not hog maws, man.

SPEAKER_02 10:29

Mogs, nigga. Mogs, nigga. Yeah, so it was cool. I had a good holiday season, and then, you know, two days after New Year's, my old my wife turned 39.

SPEAKER_05 10:36

Woo!

SPEAKER_02 10:37

Happy birthday.

SPEAKER_05 10:38

I love that. Happy birthday.

SPEAKER_02 10:39

39 is still fine.

SPEAKER_05 10:41

Period. 35. 35.

SPEAKER_02 10:45

Tell her more than that. Tell her more than that. You know? I told her, I said, you you you're not that far from 40. And we all we all know what Dave said. Ain't no such thing as good. All right. Anyway, so we're talking about being distant today.

SPEAKER_00 10:58

And since in the chair.

SPEAKER_02 11:03

So I'm just asked. I'm asked the room here. When someone gets distant, what's the first thing that people assume?

SPEAKER_05 11:12

You acting funny.

SPEAKER_01 11:14

Something's wrong. A lot of people think what I do. What's wrong with you? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 11:19

Really?

SPEAKER_01 11:20

I guess that might just be me. So you internalize it. Are you I think I do, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:27

You and everybody, but that's fucked up.

SPEAKER_05 11:32

Are are we asking uh what do what do we think or what do people think?

SPEAKER_02 11:36

What do people think?

SPEAKER_05 11:36

Yeah. I think that people think, I think if you know your person, whoever that person may be.

SPEAKER_02 11:42

Hold up. Wait a minute. Are these niggas are they both wearing wires?

SPEAKER_01 11:48

Yeah. I told you, don't do crime around me, nigga. Like that's these niggas wearing wires. These niggas got wires, McFarlane. You notice that shit? I don't know why you into that.

SPEAKER_05 11:59

You're annoying.

SPEAKER_01 12:01

You are a law-abiding citizen. On the camera.

SPEAKER_00 12:06

On the camera.

SPEAKER_05 12:07

We are both wearing wires.

SPEAKER_00 12:09

So you guys, you click the button. Ah shit.

SPEAKER_05 12:14

Oh, so you're gonna be gonna be in criteria.

SPEAKER_02 12:16

So she's a snitch. That's some creepy shit.

SPEAKER_05 12:18

She a snitch. She a goddamn sniper. I'm gonna put the cover on mine.

SPEAKER_02 12:22

So if y'all see me.

SPEAKER_05 12:23

For my kids, so I could record their ass.

SPEAKER_02 12:25

If y'all see me being distanced from Sharon, because she's a snitch.

SPEAKER_05 12:28

I am not.

SPEAKER_02 12:28

She can't play with me. She's with working with the feds with glasses on. Yeah, so like what do you think they assume? So do you so you think they assume that that, like, what do you think people assume when you get distant?

SPEAKER_00 12:40

I don't.

SPEAKER_02 12:41

When I get distant? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:43

I don't know. I don't think people pay attention to me, I'll be honest.

SPEAKER_00 12:46

But I feel that way too. Oh my gosh. Maybe it's a Virgo thing.

SPEAKER_04 12:50

Somebody right now saying this motherfucker. You don't think people see you?

SPEAKER_00 12:54

I definitely think people see you. I feel like when I'm distant, I don't think people are going, damn. Why is he distant over there? I just usually when I'm distant, I don't even wear I'm being distant. I'm just like, oh, that's processing shit that I gotta deal with on a daily basis.

SPEAKER_02 13:07

So they they just hit you with the oh, that's Andy being Andy?

SPEAKER_00 13:10

Essentially, yeah. And if they don't, and they think otherwise, if they don't address with me, I can't control that. You can say what I always tell you. Fuck him?

SPEAKER_02 13:18

Yeah, fuck him.

SPEAKER_05 13:19

No. Lord have mercy. Well, because okay, so first of all, like I was saying, if you know your person, whoever that person is, we're talking about people in general, we're talking about it. No, but hear me out. So you guys both said the same thing. The people in your lives probably know you. So when you're distant, they probably don't think anything of it because they know that to just be you, right? So it's not really anything. I know for me personally, and I actually had this happen to me recently. Um, you're acting different. You know, so it's like it depends on how you know that person to be. I think.

SPEAKER_02 13:55

Were you acting different or were you acting better?

SPEAKER_05 13:57

Um that question is dumb. Um because acting different and acting better, like what the f really better.

SPEAKER_02 14:06

Were you a better version of yourself?

SPEAKER_01 14:09

I I think I get what you mean. Is it different than what they know you as? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:13

You weren't different, you had just leveled up, so you were being perceived differently.

SPEAKER_05 14:16

In a sense, it depends on how you look at it. I mean, I just felt like for me, I felt um, I've been working from home for six months now, right? So that's you ain't that a bread?

SPEAKER_00 14:27

That's a good story. I think that's the combination of that and I could be throwing that in conversation.

SPEAKER_05 14:37

Like, yeah, so I work from home. Like, I get it.

SPEAKER_02 14:42

I'll tell you a little story. I wish I'm never gonna, I'm I wish I never stopped working at home. I said, okay, shit.

SPEAKER_05 14:49

I've thrown away all my blazers, like, yeah, don't have me coming to you. It's people, it's cold kids. I know I didn't throw it in there's cold kids. I'm lying, I'm lying. I gave away a lot of shit, though.

SPEAKER_02 14:56

There's cold kids in Africa.

SPEAKER_05 14:58

Anyways, what I was saying was that changed a lot of the dynamic in my life when it came to what, you know, my drop-off for my kid and then my 17-year-old drives. So it changed a lot of what was what I did day to day. So um, I'm home a lot. So it's not that necessarily that I'm distant. And I was always a homebody, but I was out in the world because life made me be out in the world. I might have been going to somebody's house after work or, you know, before I had to get on the freeway. And now I'm home already. So you might not see me.

SPEAKER_02 15:28

I don't I know for me, I just uh if I ever if I pick up someone being distant, I just assume like are they going through some shit. So my my initial response is like I'm like, you good, and like like Sutter would say, I say you good, and it's up to the nigga. Once I say you good, nigga, it's up to you. It's the ball's in your court. You want to talk about it, we talk about if not, all right. I'll leave you alone. Like, that's how I I don't I don't necessarily see uh I never assume it's something that that uh I've done wrong because I feel like all my friends would come to me if they feel like I've wronged them.

SPEAKER_05 15:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:54

So I never assume that I've done something to them. I just feel like, oh, they're going through some shit.

SPEAKER_05 15:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:58

You know, like shit, shit getting real, shit getting heavy. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 16:00

And you have your that's the type of friend you are. Because you have people internalize things. So there are friends that'll say, Hey, are you okay? And there are friends who be like, You're acting funny. And did I do something? This is not about you.

SPEAKER_02 16:11

Yeah, but you just came to me with this bullshit ass energy. That's here. Thank you. Very much, very practical.

SPEAKER_05 16:16

Very, very, very true.

SPEAKER_02 16:17

That's what the fuck you just did. Well, I don't ask people if I did something.

SPEAKER_05 16:20

Yeah, no, it's true.

SPEAKER_06 16:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:23

Hold on. This this this is kind of funny because when we were skating last week, Kevin, I was like, damn. When we were I said, Kevin, I said, Kevin talked to me, and I was like talking. I said, damn, this nigga gonna think I'd be an asshole too. I said, I said, because I gave this nigga very short answer. I was like, nigga, I didn't even want to really be here. It was like, because I you guys said something, yeah, man. I was like, Yeah. Yeah. And I told the wife, I said, Yeah, I said, damn, I don't have to apologize to Kevin. I'm being kind of an asshole. I was like, 'cause I didn't want to be out here today.

SPEAKER_01 16:49

Oh no, like I know if you're being an asshole, that wasn't, I would tell you.

SPEAKER_02 16:57

I think at some point I just got tired of busting my ass on that floor. Um let me ask y'all this. Why do you think people actually pull back? Or if why do you think people pull back and why have you pulled back from people? That could be a lot, though. Yeah, that's that's uh But let's talk about it. We talk this is levels to this.

SPEAKER_05 17:16

Go into it.

SPEAKER_01 17:17

Certain times it's like I'll pull away a lot of times, it's just about me. It's not about nobody else. It's not about what they've done. Like if somebody did something that I don't fuck with, I'm just like, oh, I'm gonna let them stay over there. So I'll do that. I will pull away on that. But it's not like I'm not taking away my uh like love and care for them. But I'm like, I'm gonna leave it up to you because most of the time it's cause something they how they acting.

SPEAKER_05 17:46

You can love somebody from a distance.

SPEAKER_01 17:48

Yeah, say them on fucking shit. Like, you know what I'm saying? But I let them, it's like something they might be working through. Yeah. And if it's something I got going on, then it's just something I got going on. And I just gotta deal with it myself. Cause I'm not one of those who like does like the therapy shit is helping like to be able to talk about myself more, but I've never been open with my own emotions to people. Therapy has ruined me for me. That's not how it's supposed to work.

SPEAKER_02 18:14

Ruins you for you. Therapy has ruined me for me.

Turning 39 And Aging With Grace

SPEAKER_06 18:17

Realize I ain't shit. Is that no? That ain't that.

Framing The Main Question On Distance

SPEAKER_02 18:19

That ain't supposed to work that way. No, no, it ain't that. It's just that therapy is hilarious. I've come to understand and realize myself and my actions and my behaviors to a point to where now I understand what I do that's not conducive to me, and now I have to fight myself to stop doing those things. So things that come natural, like my natural response to shit. I gotta be like hold up, nigga. We know where to sleep. That's good. You gotta revert. So now I'm like, nigga, like I thought I was cool. And then I realized that a lot of the time, like I tell McFly, I said a lot of time, nigga, I've started to realize that nigga, I'm the problem. Because I'm hurting my fucking self by allowing shit to continue to go on and not set my fucking boundaries. So I feel like that's going back to like what I would ask, like that's tight. Um, like that's what like recently, that's why I pull back a lot. I said, nigga, I gotta set boundaries to myself because I'm I'm overextending myself. And then and then once I'm overextended, now I'm irritated by every fucking body, by some shit that I cause. And it's really hard for me because I think at my core, I want to be a helpful person, but then I have to understand, like my therapist says, like, you understand, but people who want to be helpful, want to be good people, get taken advantage of. And so it's a fine line between being helpful and being taken advantage of. And so we really have to learn to start to protect in your own peace. And that's where I've been with my with my boundaries and we put me pulling back from people in situations.

SPEAKER_05 19:36

Like, you are preaching.

SPEAKER_02 19:37

So it's like it's it's been really, really, really hard. That's why I say therapy has been a motherfucker on me. Like, nigga, like, like, that's not bad.

SPEAKER_01 19:44

That's not like making great. You know what I mean? Yeah, because I've learned more boundary setting because I used to let too much shit in and people that shouldn't be allowed access to me having access. So it's like a lot of uh like I've like my day results. Always tells me, like, you're really good at setting up community. Yeah. And it's like, I let a lot of people in the wrong people in the community. So now I'm doing more to be like, nah, you shouldn't be allowed to be here in this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:13

So there's nothing wrong with that.

SPEAKER_02 20:15

And I'm I'm with you with that. I'm with you with that. Because what I've done recently, nigga, I just stopped, I I stopped being the first to communicate. And I've and that will show you a lot of shit. Sure will. When you stop being the first nigga to communicate, you'll be like, okay.

unknown 20:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:28

Because I think what you post a couple days about your phone being dry. Is I think my phone being so goddamn dry. At this point, I can motherfucker afford it.

SPEAKER_04 20:35

I've been thinking my shit is off. I was just making sure my phone's up.

SPEAKER_02 20:41

Make sure I pay my goddamn bill this month. God damn.

SPEAKER_03 20:48

Shit.

SPEAKER_05 20:49

That is some real shit. But no, I and a lot of what I gather from what you say, and I that's why I love what both of y'all said. It all falls under the umbrella of reflection. Like oh, that's me.

SPEAKER_00 21:00

That's how Android is.

SPEAKER_04 21:03

That's why I need to stop.

SPEAKER_02 21:06

It ain't coming. It ain't coming from the real side of the table anymore.

SPEAKER_03 21:12

Y'all gotta fuck.

SPEAKER_01 21:15

I was like, why is it just ringing? Go ahead. Um my bad.

SPEAKER_05 21:18

But no, it all comes under the you know the umbrella of reflecting. And a lot of times when I put to answer the question, when I pull back, it a hundred percent has to do with self-reflection. Because that's really what it's all about. And like what you said, therapy taught you. Like you're not gonna be able to be anything outwardly unless you pay attention to what's happening for yourself. And so that's very necessary. And if if you got to pull back, and you can't you can't really reflect and you can't really work on yourself while you're hearing the outside noise. So a lot of times that looks like you having to pull back. You have to be isolated, you have to do those types of things, and it looks different for everybody, but you know, it's necessary.

SPEAKER_02 21:58

Like, yeah, it really is amazing how much silence will teach you.

SPEAKER_05 22:00

Oof, silence is amazing.

Therapy, Boundaries, And Self-Reflection

SPEAKER_02 22:02

It really will. And I think that I think I don't know about you, McFarr, but I think that's what I like about the gym so much. Because when it's even though I got the music in my ear, my my my mind is silent, if that makes sense. Like I'm I'm I'm processing so much shit at the same time. And it really, like I I make a lot of goddamn revelations in the gym. Outside of just goddamn, I'm tired. I'll be like, Well, wait, hold on, nigga. Like, I've I I'll be playing a whole situation with situations in the back of my head, like, hold, what the fuck? Like, like, that's what the fuck was going on there.

SPEAKER_00 22:28

Like, I'll say for me, like 2025 was uh a big reflective year for me. And the gym, like you said, it was a major part of that because it was you sit in the gym, you're f hyper-fixated on what you need to get done, but then you start thinking about shit, and you had those realizations about everything that's going on. And for me, seeing uh to your point, Kevin, the the the community and and and and letting uh letting people into your s circle, your your energy, I started realizing that I had to just put up walls because you start seeing people and you're like, oh shit, like I let that person have access to me or that person have access to me. Even like the show I did, like you realize that the only reason why these people were at the show to perform is because I allowed them there, and it was like this is a space they should never got access to. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 23:22

That's very true.

SPEAKER_00 23:23

And they get it, they get to take advantage of your glow. Yeah, and you start having to make those walls and boundaries, and I learned that a lot.

SPEAKER_01 23:32

I'm not matching energies with niggas no more. Nah. Like, I'm just like, you don't deserve my energy. Like, so many niggas don't deserve my energy. But that's you match it, that's you match energy. It's not it is because some niggas will take it to a point where I'm like, oh, you want me there?

SPEAKER_02 23:46

Like, I'm not coming there with you. No, what I'm saying is I'm gonna let you talk to yourself. What I'm saying is that when I what I what I mean by you not um by by you not participating in whatever foolish they got going, that you matching energy. Like my energy don't dwell here. So I'm gonna I'm gonna match you, I'm gonna leave this year. I'm gonna leave that shit with you. I guess you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 24:02

I'm gonna go get it, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:03

I get what you're saying.

SPEAKER_00 24:05

I'm like, nigga, you can sit over there and talk to yourself. I reflected on that shit this morning is the people that have access to you because of other people.

SPEAKER_03 24:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:12

That shit, that's a big thing that I I don't think gets talked about enough. Is the only reason why that negative nigga over there is here is because I'm friends with you or cool with you. And the note, they kind of they piggyback that shit. Yeah, and you end up having to deal with them, and that energy is bad. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 24:27

I that's why I feel like my phone, I mean, I joke about it, but my phone has literally been on Do Not Disturb for like three years straight now.

SPEAKER_00 24:34

And it's because So if y'all go to jail, don't call her. Or if you go on Who Wants to be a Millionaire if that's still on, don't don't use her as a uh a lifeline. I shouldn't know this shit.

SPEAKER_05 24:46

It's not gonna happen. Um, I mean, and I don't get me wrong, I have favorites. You know how that works. Like, you know, people can get in. There's people that can get there's somebody for every if there's a ice a designated person to get in contact with me. Obviously, my kids, my mom, but um my phone's been on do not disturb, and people having access to you is such a humongous thing. And it starts with something as simple as oh, my phones on do not disturb. But like people don't understand like the deeper meaning to that. Like, I there are I have my entire life always given people more access to me than what I should have. And and you find when you reflect and you you have those moments to really like set your boundaries or just pay attention to yourself and what has fed your soul or what has depleted it in all these years, it's like, well, shit, I should have never been in this circle, I should have never allowed this person. I would have like, and so there's so many routines in my life now, and it's I only use do not disturb as an example, but those are part of the routines that remove that. Like, yeah, another thing is I don't drink like out with the the masses anymore. I used because I like to drink, right? But turn up, um I I I mean I do. I I'm not a I don't have a problem, but I do like to drink. I used to drink in settings for comfort amongst people that I know I'm not really comfortable with, right? But what that turns into is me giving access to myself in a comfortable way, but I wouldn't have genuinely given you access to myself. So I've created a routine for myself in the past year or so to where I'm gonna go completely sober because I'm not gonna leave and be like, shit, I don't even fucking like her or I don't even like him. And now they feel like, oh, give me, get you that barrel through because I drank to get myself to a level of comfort, but I also gave you access to me. And I know that I didn't want you to have access to me. So I think that people have to pay attention and start to set those routines in their lives to really have like create that. Like people, not everybody should have access to me.

SPEAKER_02 26:51

I have adopted the uh the kids method. I don't give my phone number out to nobody. I'm like, just follow me.

SPEAKER_00 26:56

Yeah, I'm big on that. There's very few people.

SPEAKER_02 27:00

Nigga, if you try to call me via Instagram, blocked. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 27:03

Oh, and that's so weird. That didn't happen.

SPEAKER_02 27:06

Immediately, nigga, blocked. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_06 27:08

Like that's scary.

SPEAKER_01 27:09

Blocked. The big thing for me is like learning like who the fuck I am. Yeah. So like I honestly start feeling like and understanding, like, I'm like a rare type of human.

SPEAKER_03 27:22

Period.

SPEAKER_01 27:22

Like it's not like you don't come across a lot of people like me who like genuinely give a fuck about you like that.

SPEAKER_02 27:28

Yeah. Nigga, I told you that day one.

SPEAKER_01 27:30

I know, but like I didn't, like, I don't I didn't understand that shit. Like, I thought that was just normal. And like when you get to like knowing yourself a little more and knowing other people, it's like, damn, like maybe you shouldn't get that. It's like, who the fuck are you? Like to me to give you that praise. Like, you shouldn't get that. Like, I should only give that to people I love. So it's like, and not necessarily just people I love, because all like strangers and shit in the world that go through shit, like I get it. It's like some of that shit happens like a one-off, like you know what I mean? But it's like to have that where it's like, hey nigga, I'm gonna call you at three in the morning. It's like, fuck no, nigga. You ain't never calling me. Like, yeah, they will take advantage of shit.

SPEAKER_05 28:06

The way your natural aura is that there are some people whose natural aura is to take care of that.

SPEAKER_01 28:10

Yeah, they just take. And like that took a lot to like learn over like it, like 20, like been saying at work, 2026 ain't gonna be the same as 2025. I promise y'all niggas, some of y'all niggas is getting fired. Like, and it's probably gonna be because of me.

SPEAKER_02 28:24

Well, I said I said for me, 2026 is uh I'm not I'm not uh involving myself with any pity. I'm not letting shit slide, yeah. And so I'm I'm I'm not I'm not throwing no pity party. I'm nigga, I'm gonna accept shit as what it is, and I'm not gonna let nobody throw no pity party in front of me here. My my whole answer is like, hey nigga, we're not gonna complain about shit, we're doing shit about shit. Yeah. So if you don't want to do shit about shit, call me when you're ready to do shit about shit. Yeah, I'm trying to move up. That's true. Like, don't, we not, that's I'm I'm the the time for talking is over. Type shit.

SPEAKER_00 28:52

My last uh self-reflective moment was lifting on the incline and hitting that the realization that for most people I wasn't a friend, I was a resource. And that shit fucked with me.

SPEAKER_02 29:03

That's some sad shit.

SPEAKER_00 29:04

Yeah, because you realize that a lot of people looked at you as an access point, not necessarily as somebody that was like, that's a friend. And that's like that's a fucking access point. And then you realize that shit and you're like, fuck, that fuck with me. I got that weight up though.

SPEAKER_02 29:17

I ain't gonna be no bitch. All right, people get judged for being distant. Why?

SPEAKER_01 29:26

Self-reflection thing. Some people, like I said, it's an internal, like for me, I internalize shit. But I don't internalize shit to throw it towards them. A lot of people internalize shit and then make it into a negative. You get what I mean? So it'll just be like, I don't know, they just get weird. Like they're just like, oh motherfucker, like, fuck that nigga. Like that's how people get you better than me. Yeah, like it's just like, what the fuck are you talking about?

SPEAKER_00 29:49

My entire life. That shit. Oh, uh every time you do shit like that, I thought you were thinking that you were better than me. I said, How the fuck does me sitting here in my own bubble make you think that I think I'm better? Which is weird to me.

SPEAKER_02 30:00

I think what are you talking about? Like, I think motherfuckers are so used to not being able, motherfuckers are so uncomfortable being alone that when they see people who are comfortable being alone, they they look at you as weird.

SPEAKER_05 30:12

Say it.

Access, Community, And Phone On DND

SPEAKER_01 30:12

People are liars. I have learned that so much. People will tell you something and then you sit back and watch how they do things, and you're like, but that's not what the fuck you just said to me. Like you acted different than what you said. Like they lied.

SPEAKER_05 30:28

But I think that people, first of all, people project, of course, but people judge you because a lot of people don't know how to self- self-reflect. A lot of people don't people don't know how to sit in silence, people don't know how to be alone with themselves. Like, I I am key for being by myself. I go to eat by myself, I'll I'll do all these things by myself, and I can't, and I can't.

SPEAKER_03 30:49

Yeah, those days is over. Those days is over.

SPEAKER_05 30:54

Yeah, it's not gonna happen. Sorry. Um, but you guys are stupid. I'm so used to that, but you should hear the reaction from people. Like, I can literally just be like in conversation, like, oh, I will do. And you know, they may like ask, like, oh no, I went by myself. And then it's just immediate, like, oh girl, I would have went with no. I didn't want you to do that.

SPEAKER_01 31:18

I don't want nobody. I was comfortable.

SPEAKER_05 31:21

I have your phone number. Like, and it these are people. I mean, I always tell my cousins, I will book a whole trip and I won't tell them shit.

SPEAKER_02 31:29

I gotta come in.

SPEAKER_05 31:30

And the reason why is because I'm so close with them, yeah. That if I and I'm the same way with them, if I were to say it, they'd be like, okay, okay, I found my flight, and and I may have wanted to, I intend and they know that from me now. You know what I mean? And like, because we're close, and it's like now they know that they'll be like, sure I don't want a way to go. But yeah, I know that if I say it, so what I'm getting at is I know I have people. I I have a great community of people between my friends, my family, but I love my alone time. And it really should. And and uh, but I think that it gets judged because people and it's projection. It's not even really, it's like the pity. Why are you up or why are you sad that I was by myself and I'm not sad? You're projecting because you would be sad that you were by yourself. And and that's fine, but that's the lane that you're in, but that's not the lane that I'm in. So you don't so I think that that's where the judgment comes in with a lot of projection because that's how a person would feel. They feel like, oh, if I were sitting in my house not answering the phone for a week, then I would be really going to do something. And I'm over here praying and listening to Tony Braxton, and and I'm just having me a good old time. You know what I mean? I got incense lit. Like, but you know, it's projection, I think.

SPEAKER_01 32:44

Learn the other people.

SPEAKER_00 32:46

Not just don't apply yourself to other people.

SPEAKER_05 32:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:49

I've been so used to being by myself for so damn long that I was thankful for headsets and headphones and earpieces because then I could walk around and when I'm talking to myself, no one Oh, you I know why you was laughing because I do that same shit. And I was like, oh yeah, I'm just talking to myself.

SPEAKER_05 33:12

No, I fuck it's so true. That's so all loners or what? Because that it's that's a tone. Like when I sp spoke about going somewhere by myself, I may have two ways of film. Like sometimes I can go sit somewhere, and if usually if I'm gonna eat at a restaurant by myself, I'll sit at the bar. So if I'm in the mood to talk, I'll sit there and I'll watch, you know, a game or something, and then people will naturally talk. If I'm not, I have headphones in. I'm not listening to anything. It's like it really allows you to do that. It's it's like a little safe haven.

SPEAKER_01 33:43

But we're on different paths. We talk on our psychopaths.

SPEAKER_02 33:50

I'll be doing that, I'll be doing that, I'll be doing that shit. I'll be walking around the neighborhood when I take when I take my walk, airpods in the nigga. Sometimes I'll be like have music, but sometimes I just be talking about nigga, no.

SPEAKER_05 34:00

I talk to myself all the time.

SPEAKER_02 34:01

But at the same time, nigga, if I'm if I got a song in my ear and I'm doing the concert, nigga, don't interrupt me, nigga. Oh, yeah. I'm performing right now.

SPEAKER_01 34:08

When the kids is in the car, nigga, and I got a song on, I'm like, I'm gonna just pause this while y'all niggas talking. Go ahead. Yeah, what?

SPEAKER_02 34:15

Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to get back to this. I told my dog, I said, look, I said, I ever and when golden comes on, everybody gotta shut up. Golden, everybody gotta shut up. So so I said, nigga, if I'm playing something I want to hear, shut up until the song is over. Shit. Because every time you interrupt me, I'm taking it, I'm starting from the top. I know what song you're talking about.

SPEAKER_01 34:35

The K-pop demon hunters.

SPEAKER_05 34:38

Oh, I thought you were talking about who's the singer living my life like it's golden.

SPEAKER_01 34:42

That's what I thought. No, no, I knew exactly what you want his words.

SPEAKER_02 34:48

Shit. You gotta when her shit come on, you're the one.

SPEAKER_05 34:52

Yeah, yeah. That's me and Cardiff.

SPEAKER_00 34:58

Yeah, you can't.

SPEAKER_01 34:58

Oh no, it's massive. Get away from the shit. You cannot. But I do love watching the kids sing it.

SPEAKER_02 35:03

It doesn't make me happy. Okay, so when someone you care about goes quiet, what does what does that feel like? For you personally. Depends.

SPEAKER_05 35:16

I I think my personality type is to check on them.

SPEAKER_01 35:19

Depends on the person.

SPEAKER_05 35:20

Depends on the person. Yeah, I was gonna say that. I just might leave it. Totally depends on it.

SPEAKER_01 35:24

Okay, so give us some examples, Stephen. Because there's some niggas I know that'll just, I'm like, oh, I'm gonna let that nigga do what he does. And then there's some niggas like, hey, somebody like drive to this motherfucker's house. Like, well, check on this nigga now. Like, it depends on who it is. Check on this nigga now.

SPEAKER_05 35:41

Like depends on the person.

SPEAKER_01 35:42

I don't know. Cause me, I think it might be like one of those where like people might know where it's like, because I am like outgoing but introvert. Yeah. So it's like it depends whether they might be like, yeah, I noticed you've been posting funny shit on Facebook, nigga. You cool? Or if it's not, they just be like, oh, whatever, you just doing your thing. So it just, I don't know. Situational. Say it, nigga. You can't do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:05

I was thinking, I said, because when he said that, I said I post cryptic shit all the time.

SPEAKER_01 36:09

But I know you, my nigga.

SPEAKER_00 36:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:11

Yeah, I know you, my nigga. And I know if I drive to your house, you ain't opening the door. That's the street. Um wait till you pull off and say, you're right.

SPEAKER_00 36:21

But I'm also the type when I see people going through shit, I try not to pry. So like that's my thing, is like I don't want to pry and make people think that I'm trying to be like nosy. Because I feel like when people do it to me, sometimes, depending on the person, I'm like, they're just doing this to get information. They don't give a fuck about it for more case. But there's other people that if they ask, I'll tell them. Like if he asks, I'll be like, oh yeah, I'll tell him something or I'll keep it short to the point. But like other people will reach out and I'll be like, nigga, he just fishing for information. So I think it depends. I I try not to pry because I don't want people prying on shit in certain situations. So it depends on the situation. Because if I do come across the person, I will ask, are you good?

SPEAKER_03 37:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:00

I got burned on that shit one time because I was trying to like actually reach out to a nigga. Like he was talking some shit, like he was about to do some shit to himself. And then I was like, for real. And then he was like, Well, it ain't gonna do nothing, nigga. You just asking me questions. And I was like, I instantly was like, Well, fuck you then, nigga. Like jump, motherfucker.

SPEAKER_04 37:20

Dude, you was gonna do that, nigga.

SPEAKER_01 37:22

I was like actually gay a fucking you like snapped on me for that.

SPEAKER_04 37:28

That's hilarious.

SPEAKER_00 37:28

Have you ever seen the the stranger that does that? Like I see on social media, like as this guy that for a while he was posting very cryptic suicidal type.

SPEAKER_01 37:38

He was like fishing for me.

SPEAKER_00 37:40

Yeah, like I yeah, and if people were like, You good, man? Somebody need to do a welfare check, and then like he was on fine like a couple days later, and then he'll go back to it a couple of days later. You're like, dude, I'll I don't know this guy personally. Yeah, that's like crying wolf.

SPEAKER_01 37:52

Yeah, like your nigga don't do that to people. That's playing with people's emotions.

SPEAKER_05 37:55

You gotta know your people though. They really go back to that. Because I got friends where I'll I'll, you know, I think that social media too helps with this whole concept because it's people in my life where I may not have heard from them, but I'm like, all right, they sent me six reels over the past.

SPEAKER_01 38:13

Facebook is made for bullshit. Like, just remember that. Like, yeah, it's just remember, no, no, real shit.

SPEAKER_05 38:19

And so you know, I'm like, oh, I haven't heard from them, but shit, they straight, you know what I'm saying? And oh, my bad. No, you had um, I feel like with you just kind of gotta know who you're messing with. And then like I have some friends where I'll check, like, girl, you good? And then I have some friends where I'm just like, oh, it's I had I literally have a friend.

SPEAKER_02 38:38

The only time is we me and this nigga talk is when new new music drops. Hey nigga, they just drees all right. That's it. It's it's like it's being quick, whatever. And he's like, hey man, you heard the song? And we talk about the song, we'll say a quick, what what up, what up, what up, and then boom. Like that that's it. Yeah, yeah. And then like the same thing, like, man, my sister ain't called me in a couple days. Damn, was that nigga okay? And then she'll see me real. Oh, that nigga fine.

SPEAKER_05 39:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:02

You see me real, she's fine.

Being Alone, Projection, And Comfort Solo

SPEAKER_05 39:03

But back to what you were saying, like people do buy. You gotta also know, like, some people, that shit ain't always. I don't welcome that. I'm gonna be honest. Like, I I'm the type of person, like, and and I hate this for everybody that loves me. I'm sorry, but it's a fine line. Like sometimes, sometimes I want, I'm like, fuck it. Don't nobody help me. Like, you know, when I'm being dramatic, I'm like, I don't have no stuff. You want to do a little bit. Well, not to them, to myself. It's like when I'm in my cause I do a lot. When I say I'm always alone, I also mean I do everything on my own. Like, literally.

SPEAKER_02 39:40

I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at something I thought about.

SPEAKER_05 39:42

Because your mind is fucking sick.

SPEAKER_02 39:44

No, no, it wouldn't even be.

SPEAKER_05 39:45

No, not like that. Not like that. But but it is sick like that, too. Yeah, exactly. It's crazy. Let's use the word crazy. Um, no, I I just feel like when I'm in a mode of over being overwhelmed, that's what I'll say. When I'm in a mode of being overwhelmed. And I feel like even though I know I have a strong support system, I will feel like fuck, like I'm really doing this shit on my own. Like ain't nobody here to support me. But then also, somebody may be like, hey, you good? And I'm like, yeah, I'm straight. And you know what I mean? And I have 10 things going on. Or I'll be like, yeah, I'm good. I just did X, Y, and Z, which really consumed me over the past week. And I just finished doing that. And everybody's like, okay, sure, I'm fine. And so it's like.

SPEAKER_02 40:28

But I think that a lot of that goes back to what Andy was saying. A lot of times you like, in that moment, you're not going to take the time to consider are they a problem or being helpful? Or you just you're going to just dismiss it. Because I don't even want to, I'm I'm so deep into what the fuck I got going on. I ain't got time to try to decipher what the fuck you mean by this question. So I'm going to just cast you aside and keep moving on.

SPEAKER_05 40:44

Yeah. I'll say, I mean, I need you to come to me with a plan. I mean, if if if if there's intent on helping me, it has to be like, I already know this is happening. This is what I'm going to do. You can't come to me and be like, what do you need me to do? I'm not going to give you anything.

SPEAKER_01 40:59

I don't expect people to be calling to help me. Well, nigga, what if I don't know what to do? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 41:03

What do you mean? The person? Yeah. I know. That's something.

unknown 41:07

See?

SPEAKER_00 41:08

But it kind of goes into your point of uh you're processing like, look, I'm dealing with this and you might be dismissive because you come in and ask me, well, what do you mean to do? It's like, motherfucker, I don't know what this might be to love.

SPEAKER_03 41:19

Right, right.

SPEAKER_05 41:21

Because at this moment, can't you tell?

SPEAKER_02 41:23

Because at this moment, nigga, I don't even, I don't know myself what I need. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 41:26

So it's like there's that, and I'm speaking of the people that I genuinely love and love me. Now, the outside motherfuckers that I don't have that love for you, don't come at me with no shit. Because I don't, I'm not, first of all, I'm not gonna disclose what I'm going through because I don't know how you're going to take it. You may not be taking that with a genuine level of concern. You may just be taking it to go fucking run and tell somebody else you're gonna take it and hold against me later. I don't know what that looks like. So unless I've established a rapport with you to where we have a mutual love, you're not gonna really get any of it.

SPEAKER_01 41:58

Sometimes I be bad at that shit because I just be too honest. Like, oh man, this shit's rough. I'm like, yeah, that shit sucks, don't it? And it's like, nigga, I don't need to hear that, so I just try not to say this nigga double it down when they fear.

SPEAKER_02 42:11

Yeah, nigga, it's terrible.

SPEAKER_06 42:12

Life is horrible, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 42:15

Kevin doing shit like nigga, you won't tell you what's really bad? Wait till you get to the part where I'm telling you, I'm struggling with this part.

SPEAKER_00 42:24

You already got me ready for the next one.

SPEAKER_04 42:26

Wait till you get to level three, motherfucker. You ain't seen shit shit.

SPEAKER_00 42:32

So apparently that guy died from a heart attack. That's what I peel back. Yeah, apparently Kevin was helping him and said something about wait till you get to the shit. It only gets worse, brother.

SPEAKER_01 42:44

But it'll get better, I promise.

SPEAKER_04 42:47

It gets worse.

SPEAKER_02 42:48

Speaking of getting better, do you think that distance is always healthy?

SPEAKER_01 42:53

Always?

SPEAKER_02 42:53

Always is a strong word to use.

SPEAKER_06 42:56

It is, right?

SPEAKER_02 42:57

So no. No?

SPEAKER_06 42:58

No.

unknown 42:59

No.

SPEAKER_02 42:59

I don't I don't think it is either. I feel like sometimes I feel like sometimes you can get distance and then spiral in the wrong direction. And sometimes it might be hard to catch yourself.

SPEAKER_05 43:10

It's what you're doing in your distance. My distance looks a lot like prayer. Like, I I mean, honestly, like I'm very my distance looks a lot like me talking to God. Like I just being 100% honest. Like that's what my distance looks like. When I isolate, it's because I'm also over here really in a mode, right? So I don't think that that distance is negative. Um, do I think you need community to be well? Yes. But you also need the distance.

SPEAKER_02 43:41

When you say community, what do you mean?

SPEAKER_05 43:43

You need people.

SPEAKER_02 43:45

Like there's it's like how many people? There's no number.

SPEAKER_05 43:50

You need people. Like, for example, to go off to piggyback off of what I said, if I spend a week in at my house with isolating myself and I'm in prayer and I'm doing all of these things, I should probably come out of that with you know, some type of reflection with somebody that's close to me that I love and to kind of share with them what that looked like or something, you know, whatever that looks like. That could be a person, or that could be me saying, Let me go set something up with my girlfriends or with my family or whatever. It just depends on what it feels like at the time. But people could be. The chair. What do you say? I just heard him.

SPEAKER_00 44:34

I'll say that's why like gradually shit.

SPEAKER_05 44:39

Like another dumb.

SPEAKER_00 44:41

Shout out to Hunter.

SPEAKER_01 44:43

Shout out to Hunter. Well, community is um this is a community.

SPEAKER_02 44:49

I think it's uh that's hilarious.

SPEAKER_01 44:52

It's part of being human.

SPEAKER_02 44:54

Right.

SPEAKER_01 44:55

Yeah, most definitely. That's the important part.

SPEAKER_05 44:59

Yeah. But it in levels. I mean, or in in in not levels at times or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 45:05

I think the hardest part we have as adults is uh I think it's extremely hard for kids, especially young kids, but it's e it gets either harder as adults once you start to realize that the community that you think you have ain't what it is, especially when it starts to pertain uh to family. And you really gotta start we weeding out like the family that's for you and the family that's not for you type shit. And then you gotta realize the people, like McFy was saying, the people who just want uh access to you for certain things are the people who's really writing for you. And when you when you I can see how some people look at the whole process of like, you know, I don't want to say scrimmaging through the rubble, but or digging through the trash, but like just evaluating the whole situation, I can see how some people like, man, you know what? I'm gonna just be cool by myself over here because I know over here it's solo. I'm safe over here where I'm solo. I ain't gotta worry about the the um the intentions of anybody over here.

SPEAKER_05 45:55

But I feel like when people do that, they're not being honest with themselves. I think that a lot of times people come off like that, but they're honestly, they have some hurt back here. And and it and it could stem from what you said, like even the way that you built that up and led to it. It's like, okay, I I've had some pain over here, right? And so because of that, it's better to be by myself. That's not necessarily you building a capacity for it. That's you saying I'm gonna remove myself. But have you dealt with what you're doing?

SPEAKER_02 46:25

No, absolutely not.

SPEAKER_05 46:27

So that's not the best, that's not necessarily the healthiest way.

SPEAKER_02 46:31

No, I'm not saying it was. I'm just saying I can see why people do that.

Checking In Without Prying

SPEAKER_00 46:35

I have an example. Go ahead. This is the simplicity of it because it wasn't even somebody that was of important to me. I remember uh um when Alaric was born, I walked through the guard check at work, and that lady that that was very, very, very, very intrusive and uh The Asian lady. Uh inappropriate and made a lot of us men feel uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_02 46:54

Really uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_00 46:55

Um, she asked, so how was it with the newborn? And I said, you know, he's not sleeping or whatever. And I was just just a brief as I walked through, I forgot something in the goddamn uh little cubby thing, and I went back and I heard her having a conversation as soon as I walked through to tell the people in there, Oh my, what the hell is he supposed to do? The baby's a newborn. I said, I you asked me a quick question, I was walking through, and you're already talking shit about me. And I haven't even and the other security guard looked at me and was like, oh shit, you yeah, yeah, I'm right here. Like, yeah. But it's one of them things where it's like, even in simplicity, people have an intention of I only ask you questions just like a talk shit about you.

SPEAKER_03 47:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:32

And that shit, like, it's so like when you think about people that you come across to on a regular basis that you know and you still have having to decipher which people here are for you, and people who are just here to maybe gossip, get information, talk shit, whatever. It's kind of hard to decipher. So I will say I'm very guilty of removing myself from situations because it's like I don't necessarily got the capacity to do with the bullshit that's going on right here or the potential bullshit. So I'm gonna go ahead and go over here because at least I know over here these maybe six people that I allow access to me, I know they have genuine intention. And everything else over there is just for the birds. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:13

And that's fair. I've I've just figured out within the last year, year and a half of who's really around me because they like me as a person, and then who's around me because they see they could potentially gain something from me. Right? Because I like like McFly was saying, some people will just keep you, keep you at arm at arm's risk when they need something from you, so they can say, hey, oh, you know who might know somebody? Oh, let me reach, you know. So it's like I've learned, like, hey bro, like if if if we can't communicate about just regular uh uh pleasantries before you ask me for something, like don't ask me for shit.

SPEAKER_01 48:49

Yeah. That's all I look at. Like, wow, just gotta do like I do. What's that? Smooth like a bum, nigga. Like, just go out, bummy. Oh, nigga, I do that now.

SPEAKER_02 48:58

I still get I work rocks everywhere.

SPEAKER_00 49:02

That's the wild part about, especially a mute the music space. You see a lot of people where you've like, this nigga's only hasn't reached out to me in years. All of a sudden they start talking, they're like, Yeah. So when's that collab happened? And you're like, I knew you there was a fucking reason why you were talking to me. This had nothing to do with actually genuinely saying how I was doing.

SPEAKER_05 49:20

It was and thankfully some people are more upfront than others. I mean, I I love that. I I have people in my life I haven't talked to in years, and then they'll be like, hey girl, so I got this ticket. Okay, we're gonna stop talking. Like you know what I mean? Um, but that's you know, some people are just I hit him with the prey about it.

SPEAKER_01 49:38

I actually like go out of my way with like comedians. Like, I don't not in the space really, but like when I see them going through real shit, like I go out of my way to like make sure that they know I'm not doing that for nothing else. I'm not trying to gain nothing. Like, hey, you cool? Like, I saw you did this, I saw you had that going on. Like, I'm actually happy that that you did that. Like, I want you to know that you're like a good person and you deserve this. Yeah, it ain't got shit to do with comedy. You ain't gonna see me, nigga. Like, and if you see me, I'm gonna get it on my own accord. So I want you to know it ain't about that. Like, so I just try to because I just know that space is fucked up.

SPEAKER_05 50:12

It is. Oh, nicest gangster shit you've got.

SPEAKER_01 50:14

Yeah, I think it's the I think it's the frecks.

SPEAKER_00 50:18

It's it got it kind of gave you a little yuck mouth lights.

SPEAKER_04 50:21

It came off hella tight. I will say that.

SPEAKER_00 50:23

So you ain't gonna see me, nigga. You see me, I'm doing my own. You got some more base?

SPEAKER_04 50:28

I'll do it.

SPEAKER_00 50:28

A yuck, like you might pull something out from under the table.

SPEAKER_06 50:32

No.

SPEAKER_00 50:36

A little more tequila. That's what's coming from under the table.

SPEAKER_05 50:39

I think that's the best way to move through this life is by letting people know that I don't need shit from you. Well, yeah, I just want them to know how I like to be. I'll take that back.

SPEAKER_01 50:48

Because there's like female comedians that I know that like hustle and like I know the struggle for them. Cause like for them, most niggas will be like, oh, you only got here because you sucked or fucked your way to this. And like, I know when you sit there and you go, that motherfucker worked. Yeah. Yeah. And like, I want to make sure you know. It'll be like, hey, I see what you're doing. Don't let the rest of these niggas tell you whatever it is. Keep doing what you're doing. Yeah. And go hustle. Do that. Because you're gonna go far if you just ignore the noise. So just like I try to make sure I do that to people. So I don't know. It's just it's all on you how you do it. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 51:23

I want you guys to give me finish the sentence, right? Renom spoons. When I get distant, it's usually because like usually, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 51:38

Can you guys take a shit?

SPEAKER_01 51:40

Oh no, I'll talk to y'all niggas on the phone when I want shit. No, nigga, don't call me. I'll hang up. I'm not, I don't want you to hear that.

SPEAKER_04 51:46

I'm pouring into myself.

SPEAKER_01 51:47

Um that's a good answer.

SPEAKER_04 51:49

It's honestly I'm processing.

SPEAKER_01 51:52

Yeah, it's probably more of that. There's a lot of shit I got going on that I gotta just knock out. I just gotta knock a lot of shit out. So cause you're busy. Yeah. Yeah. Like I I I I pile a lot on and like try to figure it out. Cause I'm like, I'll put myself in situations sometimes I don't need to be in. And it's like, nigga, what are you doing? Get the fuck out of this.

SPEAKER_02 52:14

Like I'm saying, you gotta stop overextending. Distance feels safest when blank.

SPEAKER_01 52:23

I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 52:24

Distance feels safest. Feels safest when shit.

SPEAKER_01 52:29

When I'm happy, I don't know. When I'm happy.

SPEAKER_05 52:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:35

When it's calm. Yeah. Cause like I can look from a distance and be like, damn, there's a lot of war going chaos over in that motherfucker.

SPEAKER_01 52:47

I ain't going that way. Like we're planning, we're planning to like leave the country one of these Christmases. All for good? I ain't got that kind of money. Okay. I wish. It's like done my like I've I've done the away from my family for Christmas. But like now it's like we've done all this and like everything's cool. So it's like, hey, let's just go do our own thing. So like that's like a distance from that, but it's like we're cool, like we're happy, it's nothing against y'all, but we're going to do this just to experience something for us.

SPEAKER_02 53:21

So it's like, no, I I I rock with that because I've I feel like to me, I I personally feel like Christmas is a waste. Because she gets shit all year long. She doesn't really need she doesn't need shit. And so even like for her birthday, I'm like, I'm I'm more caught up on giving her experience than items. Like, you got what the fuck do you need? There's a lot of shit you want, but you there's nothing that you need, and you have most of what you'll want. Because for you to sit here and like, for instance, like if I take you, if I take her to fucking five below or fucking Target or anywhere, like, oh, you can get one thing, it's gonna take three hours for her to side one thing. That lets me know that you that lets me know that you don't really want anything. You're just getting something because I told you you can get something. So that's why I'm like the people are like, yeah, I'm I'm more focused on let me give you experiences. Let me let me let me show you things in life so somebody's dusty ass son can impress you with shit.

SPEAKER_05 54:13

Amen. I do that for my girls.

Is Distance Healthy Or Harmful?

SPEAKER_01 54:14

That's how I like our whole car. Like Christmas for us is like a lot, family. We just get together. Like, because we just get together for holidays and shit like that. Like, we don't just be hanging out on fucking Tuesday. You got gumbo? Nah, we did something different this year. We did like uh uh Southern food. So it was it wasn't gumbo, it was like a whole bunch of shit.

SPEAKER_00 54:33

That's what it is. Is it nigga food? The fucking the grill making look like the game right now.

SPEAKER_01 54:39

Oh, I should start lying then. Just lying and name dropping. Oh, I was out here with Eve. Like But like that's my thing for that, because it's like we've never really done that as a family where it's just our thing. Like the only time we've been together as a family on just Christmas and not outside of the house is when the kids were sick. Like this last one they were sick, we tried to go see the family because we with the family and we love that shit. But it's like, why not do something for just us? Like, why not?

SPEAKER_02 55:12

You know, yeah, we I mean, we say that all the time, man. Like, sometimes like we we make it a point to at least a couple times, like just go do shit. Like, it ain't it ain't nothing big, nigga. We might just go to the park as a family. Yeah. Like just us. Like goalty, just a family. Take a trip out to the beach just as a family, just us. Like, no friends, nobody, just the unit. Here, I think that's important too.

SPEAKER_05 55:32

I agree. I do that a lot.

SPEAKER_00 55:34

I like when you uh you tell me about when you guys go play, is it uh is it racquetball? So handball? Handball, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 55:41

Yeah, she'd be cheating her ass off.

SPEAKER_00 55:43

But that that's the stuff that I try to do, even though my daughter tries to kill me.

SPEAKER_02 55:47

Um I lost it around the world yesterday because apparently to her, if she shoots the ball through the bottom of the hoop and it comes back down, it counts.

SPEAKER_00 55:57

That does count. It does not fucking count. Kids' rules. It always counts in kids.

SPEAKER_02 56:01

And around the world, she gets, since she's a kid, she gets four tries and I only get one. That counts too. It's kids' rules. You know.

SPEAKER_01 56:08

Oh, my kids hate me, then I'll be like, that's not how it shit works.

SPEAKER_00 56:11

You know where it doesn't count. None of that counts one-on-one. Be relentless and one-on-one. When they go up, the shit out of that box. This is what life looked like. This is exactly what life looks like.

SPEAKER_05 56:26

That's the real shit.

SPEAKER_00 56:27

I said, You traveling.

SPEAKER_02 56:28

What's that mean?

SPEAKER_00 56:30

That's the that's the uh the duality of that. Hey, what around us, around the world, it's cool. But one-on-one, it's real life. It's real life. When the points matter.

SPEAKER_02 56:40

All right, so distance isn't always rejection. Sometimes it's just self-preserve preservation. And closeness without understanding doesn't last. So if you care about someone, don't just watch the distance. Ask them about the weight. This has been episode 228 of Hey Way Podcast. We appreciate y'all. Make sure you like, share, subscribe, comment, all that shit. And until next time, we love y'all. Peace.

SPEAKER_01 57:02

One love.

SPEAKER_00 57:03

Kevin, can you say hate it or love it, real quick?

SPEAKER_01 57:05

Yo, it's the game. Sweaty. That's rap, y'all. That's that's how she wrap. So, make sure, click like, subscribe. Tune in. We're on our room platform. So, until next time.

SPEAKER_05 57:23

Well, I got you.