The Heavyweight Collective
Welcome to *The Heavyweight Collective*, where every week, a dynamic group of four—“this lady and these three guys”—come together to discuss a wide range of topics that both warm the heart and nourish the soul. The Heavyweight Collective brings together four unique individuals, each with their own perspective, to engage in open and honest conversations about real-life situations. Whether you're in need of a good laugh to release some tension or you're seeking real answers to life’s tough questions, tune in to *The Heavyweight Collective* Whatever you're looking for, you’ll find it here.
The Heavyweight Collective
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This week on The Heavyweight Podcast, we’re having a real conversation about identity and self-discovery. We open up about who we really are when no one is watching, what we’ve had to unlearn, and the boundaries we’ve learned to set.
It’s a vulnerable discussion about growth, survival, and becoming your authentic self—one that will have you thinking about the parts of you that rarely see the light of day.
Thanks for tapping in with The Heavyweight Collective!
Make sure you follow, subscribe, and share with someone who needs this convo. Catch us on all socials for clips, updates, and more behind the mic. https://linktr.ee/TheHeavyweightPodcast
Podcast Introduction and Banter
Speaker 1Welcome to the Heavyweight Podcast.
Speaker 2The message behind saying the title of the Heavyweight Podcast is to be able to say that we can weigh in on some heavy shit. What we're talking about is important from every aspect of it. It's a heavy weight. It's not just about physical weight, but the weight of things that can weigh our minds. So I think it's dope that we can have this conversation minds. So I think it's dope that we can have this conversation.
Speaker 3The reason I don't go to the gym is because I don't like being there by myself. I'd be stressed the fuck out. So would my wife. I'd be stressed the fuck out. I can't go with her because, baby, she could pick me up.
Speaker 1Take some AI glasses and just talk to her.
Speaker 3Baby and throw me, and you're not by yourself. That's a strong-ass lady, hey man.
Speaker 1How are you today?
Speaker 4Honestly, like honestly, the gym is actually safe for girls because most guys don't want to be accused.
Speaker 2They don't want the trouble.
Speaker 4Don't want to be accused of shit, so they avoid girls all the time. It's going to be the other girls that talk to you.
Speaker 3I don't know what the equipment. Like some of it.
Speaker 2Nigga, there's YouTube and TikTok. Did he say TikTok?
Speaker 3Yeah, he did, he did, he did, he did.
Speaker 1Yep, I'll shut down. I'll shut down, I'm done, I'm over it.
Speaker 2Nigga said TikTok, I'm over it All right, let's go, let's roll.
Speaker 4That's my new app.
Speaker 1That's my new date app. This needs to be done in 15 minutes. Alright, girl, I'm over this, let's go you up with Dick Todd let's record okay, what's?
Speaker 4wrong with Dick Todd girl?
Highlighting Favorite Podcasts
Speaker 3John Wayne okay what episode number is this 180? 86 okay, the most important person for you to know is yourself. Today, we are going to talk about some concepts that really will highlight things about yourself that maybe the world didn't know and you're willing to share. Today. I am Desi Diva. This is episode 210. And I'm back again with my three favorite gentlemen and one of my new faves what's up man? What's up, what's up it? Of my new faves.
Speaker 5What's up, man? What's up, what's up? It's Pat on the building.
Speaker 3What's up, Pat? What's up Guys? Introduce yourself. Y'all know this routine, you know the routine.
Speaker 1Oh, my bad, I'm Screenshot Jack.
Speaker 3Oh my gosh, what is Screenshot?
Speaker 1Hey, he said he got the receipt. Hey, screenshot jack, that's me jack got the receipt.
Speaker 4It's your boy.
Speaker 2Positivity, oh my god once again huh, I'm the often shy, the guy they call mcfly and, as I mentioned, I am your girl.
Speaker 3There's a diva. How was your weeks?
Speaker 1a smorgasbord Fuck it.
Speaker 2Of meat Paws.
Speaker 1That makes yourself bad.
Speaker 2Paws makes himself bad.
Speaker 3Oh God, okay, what about you, molito?
Speaker 1Damn. I'm just kidding, I can't even get a real one out I went to therapy and shit, they got this therapy. You you know, but fuck it, hey, whatever I'm proud of you, kevin.
Speaker 4Thanks, I appreciate it.
Speaker 3I mean, it's a you might inspire somebody who out there watching that need to go to therapy I know at least two people in here I go to therapy, so the fuck are you talking about a new therapist I don't need to do therapist me and hers on the right page. You know what doing I'm in school to be a therapist. I don't need no help, leave me alone, go ahead. Next person Therapist.
Speaker 4Therapist Piss, is that like therapy Piss? Because?
Speaker 3all the pissed off people will be coming to me and I will be getting them right. Thank you, please go ahead.
Speaker 2So you're in a new state.
Speaker 3I got, I like to just say rim shot, pat, how was your week?
Speaker 5My week was good man.
Speaker 3Jump in there. You a regular. Now Jump in there, buddy.
Speaker 5My week is good, man, just chilling, working. You know the drill.
Speaker 1What are?
Speaker 5you working on.
Speaker 1I'm kidding, I'm kidding. They tell you what to work on Me too.
Speaker 5PMS.
Speaker 1I know what that means. It don't mean what you think. It means Plan maintenance.
Speaker 3Baby, I got confused how you working on that. This nigga got research, hold on.
Speaker 2The two semen have an inside joke.
Speaker 3Oh man, yeah, we talking about PMS, semen talking about PMS, and when they say semen y'all, they talking about the Navy, because I didn't know, are we? I hope so Are we?
Speaker 1I hope so. We might be talking about nut.
Speaker 3I got a clock out. If you are, I'm going to fuck home. I am off my shift, if you are.
Speaker 4My week was cool, just stressful getting ready for the baby girl's birthday, Yay happy birthday princess. She has a whole weekend of fun coming up.
Speaker 1It's already spent, huh.
Speaker 4Yeah, man, you know. And on top of that we took her to the fair. Yeah, I just hear it in your voice and uh alright once again she ate my goddamn turkey leg.
Speaker 1I don't understand why don't you just buy two, because they're $20 a piece.
Speaker 3So you already know when you go to the fair you need 40 extra dollars.
Speaker 1Yeah, just put 40 aside.
Speaker 4I look forward to the turkey. All I want is a turkey leg. Just let me eat the goddamn turkey leg. I want the smoked turkey leg.
Speaker 3Because, oh my mama, I feel like you said she ate your turkey leg last time she did, so I feel like you know now.
Speaker 4Every time we go to the fair, to the Halloween festival, anything she eats my goddamn turkey leg.
Speaker 2So get to it, why not? Get to it you can go to in the rural area off of Highway 74. Catch you, a live turkey.
Speaker 4In Paris, California.
Speaker 1They got wild turkeys Not to drink.
Speaker 2but Just go to the country parts of Paris off of Highway 74.
Speaker 4Ain't turkeys mean, though I told you I got chased by a peacock. I ain't fucking with no turkey.
Speaker 1I feel like, just the way it sounds, it should be paused I ain't pausing that.
Speaker 2Goddamn peacocks are aggressive as shit yeah, that's why they pee so maybe you'll meet a jive turkey we ain't finna do this all morning I had a.
Speaker 3I had a uh we ain't finna do this all morning. I had a pretty good week myself just work, you know, doing the regular old stuff. Mcfly, did you say how your week was? I think you did.
Speaker 2I was just making puns.
Speaker 4Were you the Punisher.
Speaker 2You can call me the Punisher. I'm Frank Castle at this bitch.
Speaker 1Okay, I was like you don't want to be the punisher because that's that nigga just testified so.
Speaker 3So, in light of the fact that we we are definitely in, in my humble opinion, one of ie's best podcasts, I'm going to ask you guys to highlight some of your say that or conviction, I know, I know there's know you these niggas already know what the fuck I feel. They know the motherfucking heavyweights is coming heavy.
Speaker 2And that's what the fuck we is. They already know there we go.
Speaker 3How the fuck I feel about that shit. I was trying to be humble but you said bring it out. You know what? I'm definitely coming. I wish you wouldn't Not sitting next to me. You said we was coming heavy. I was with it. But what we're going to do now is we're going to highlight some of our favorites, and it could be something well known, it could be a more local podcast, but let's highlight some of our favorite podcasts and what we like about them. Okay, let's go with you. First, mcfly.
Speaker 2I'm a big fan of the Joe Button podcast.
Speaker 3Okay, joe, you niggas. I recently watched it and it is actually really good. I'm not even gonna hold you, joe. Good, joe, you on your shit, joe 20 mil. Go Joe. What about you?
Speaker 1I don't know the name. There's two of them, there's Most Deaths and Dave the Midnight Shit.
Speaker 2The Midnight shit, the Midnight, yeah, the Midnight Miracle.
Speaker 1Quest Loves is pretty good too. Forget the name, but it's just nerd shit. Them niggas just talking music and stuff and different artists. I like that stuff.
Speaker 3Okay, so they resonate with you.
Speaker 1Yeah, it's a different level of just banter, and then I watch NPR and shit like that.
Speaker 4This week on NPR. What about you Me? It's Life After I Do.
Speaker 3Yeah, I fuck with you. I ain't gonna hold you.
Speaker 4I plug all my shit All right, you should the.
Speaker 5Joe Budden podcast and then Carmelo's Anthony's podcast.
Speaker 4Okay, you see that shit he do with his son who, carmelo, we had that on episode I probably did.
Speaker 5He schooled him, he cooked him.
Speaker 4He was like talking about his son's game and he was like Daddy, I don't know what you're talking about. He thought I'd cook you this. Nigga want the smoke.
Speaker 1Oh, wow, yeah, yeah, that's how you get the clicks.
Speaker 4I think the name of that podcast that lady crazy, that lady funny as shit Boy it's called. Don't Call Me White Girl.
Speaker 3She's black, she's so funny.
Speaker 1I think she about to be on Joe Budden's podcast.
Speaker 3I need to see it because she's fucking hilarious. And I'm not even going to hold you, and I'm not even just saying it because the nigga is in here, but Life After. I literally wake up on Wednesday and I'm in the bed with my phone on purpose to roll over and see what song y'all are singing.
Speaker 1Subscribe to Patreon, nigga.
Speaker 3Yeah, subscribe nigga. I couldn't give him love without him saying something. Okay, but anyways, this podcast is dope. I definitely love it. And Heavyweight definitely my absolute favorite and it was my favorite before I was coming heavy. And definitely my absolute favorite and it was my favorite before I was Coming heavy and it was my favorite before I was sitting here.
Speaker 3You're definitely coming, definitely. He can vouch for that. This was my favorite before I even got to be a part of it, so definitely always my favorite. So that was us just showing a little bit of love to all of you out there that are podcasting. We appreciate everybody in the space with us, because you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5We are amongst some of the best people.
Speaker 4Yeah, we do we?
Speaker 3I appreciate everybody in the space with us because you either you either go learn from them one way or learn another damn way. So I appreciate everybody in our space. But, as I mentioned, we're going to be speaking about self today. So the first question let's get this going who are you when nobody's watching?
Speaker 4I'm the nigga, I'm the one, just make sure you're keeping up.
Speaker 2He just quoted McFly.
Speaker 3Okay, I'll give him that. I'll give him that. Mcfly. Who are you when no one's watching? Who are you when nobody watching? Nigga.
Speaker 2Let me turn because I want to know. I am a often uh disturbed individual dexter that, uh, I'm not gonna say that out because it's it's, it's it's expected to say I vigorously masturbate anyway. I am a disturbed individual who likes music a lot and is often annoyed by how people act and how they act in public. There you go.
Speaker 1So you hate Walmart.
Speaker 3You gotta hate Walmart.
Speaker 2Walmart does irritate me. Yes.
Speaker 3Walmart has a page called People of Walmart. Go look at it. It's some shit on there. Who are you when no one's watching? Pat?
Speaker 5Quiet, chill, reserved, disturbed at times, but annoyed by people's actions and just sometimes being around.
Speaker 3Yeah, you, you that nigga when people watching too.
Speaker 2Yeah, that's who you is. I often like to laugh a lot too. That's the thing that I don't think people realize I love to laugh a lot I've only learned that simplest, that's the most simplistic shit that make me laugh.
Speaker 3So I've only learned that about you in maybe like the last like six or six to eight months that I've seen you kind of like open up more and laugh more and you have a really funny personality.
Speaker 4Well, McFly, don't be out here starting something.
Speaker 2That nigga? Whoever's putting that old man up to do playing michael?
Speaker 3jackson god damn who are you when nobody's watching you?
Speaker 4uh, I am just a uh dedicated friend, husband and father, that's it and he loves me.
Speaker 3When no one's watching, guys, he do not care he is lying I, I tolerate, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like an additional sister that he's I tolerate desire he's lying the lies only because life a dominion how the fuck you gonna tolerate me only because somebody you ain't seen the hell if she even say hi to. If she even say hi to you, it's because I said she could. That's my sister.
Speaker 4Damn it, she the better one.
Speaker 3And you know what? I don't deny that. I think she's the better one. Oh my god, cool.
Speaker 4Kev, who are you when no one's watching?
Speaker 1yeah, I'm an absolute basket case oh just crazy huh yeah, just everywhere. I like the arts. I like arts and shit history as much as I didn't think I like history.
Speaker 3I like history and shit like that and just wanna be a history teacher no, fuck no that's great, yeah into like serial killers and shit though too so.
Speaker 4Dexter probably closer. So you like the true crime shit? Yeah, a lot too much.
Speaker 1I've been liking that shit for a long time though it's all the mice standing up watching unsolved mysteries. Yeah right, maybe into that shit. For a long time now it's all the mice standing up watching Unsolved Mysteries. Yeah right, maybe into that shit. Why do?
Speaker 3you kill people. That's funny. So who are you? Me, I'm actually a really gentle person when no one's watching. When nobody's watching.
Speaker 5I'm gentle.
Speaker 3Stop the cat hey cuz.
Speaker 4Let me tell you something. What happened to gentle you? I know?
Speaker 3you said you was gentle. You Don't know me nigga.
Speaker 1Okay, please Don't let this nigga Get you fucked up. So let's all look away, so she can be nice Please.
Speaker 3Please don't get fucked up On this nigga behalf, because you trying to help this nigga out, we ain't looking. You supposed to be nice. Fuck nigga, I'll be on.
Speaker 5I'll slide this way.
Speaker 3I'll slide this way on your ass too. I'll be cool. I'm cool if you cool, but I'm cool with tripping too.
Speaker 1You gotta stop trying to fight everybody.
Speaker 4But she's calm and nice.
Speaker 3But I am very nice and very calm. I am very calm. I think I'll be chilling. You niggas be gassing. I think I'd be chilling. You niggas be gassing. Do we got the Rick?
Speaker 2James thing, y'all be fucking with me.
Speaker 3Play the tape back, y'all be fucking with me. You say shit to trigger me, and then I get triggered, and then you be like see, oh my God, and then she's in the car. And then what's going on? You nigga, you do know.
Speaker 2You do know so much hostility.
Speaker 3And I'm not done yet. Don't press that fucking button, are you done? Are you done? Shit? Y'all get on my fucking nerves, okay, so excited? And what part of yourself have you had to unlearn? Nigga, I'm gonna stay talking shit, okay, till I die. Okay, might pop up off the casket real quick and say a few more damn things, then lay the fuck back down.
Speaker 2So when you did pop out of the casket, do you then say sometimes you gotta pop out and show niggas.
Unlearning and Authenticity
Speaker 3Okay, niggas, thank you. What part of yourself have you unlearned to become more authentic? Ooh, that's different than what I thought, surprise, I had to unlearn not giving a fuck what people thought of me. Okay, okay. What about you?
Speaker 5Plays with more confidence than myself.
Speaker 3Okay, friend, that's a good one Okay.
Speaker 4Keep working, oh my.
Speaker 3God, you're doing great. Fuck you Mo. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let him talk, cause a minute ago you was letting him cook. Now, all of a sudden, he say something to you and then fuck you Mo, fuck you Mo go ahead, mo, I don't know.
Speaker 4Go ahead, kevin.
Speaker 1I think I'm working on it still too. Um, saying no doesn't mean I don't care. Oh, it means you care about you.
Speaker 4No.
Speaker 1I got to learn that that's not what that means either yeah it is Fuck them. Sometimes it's got to be no.
Speaker 3Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1I shouldn't feel bad for no.
Speaker 3What you got Mo.
Speaker 4I'm just trying to be positive. I'm like a month in and this shit is rough. He's positive.
Speaker 1Mr Positive, that's rough.
Speaker 3Go ahead.
Speaker 2You'll get there.
Speaker 4I'm positive about myself. You'll get there.
Speaker 1He didn't put that in there.
Speaker 3You'll get there. You come a long way already.
Speaker 4Patrick know I be fucking with him.
Speaker 3You'll get there.
Speaker 4If I don't mess with Patrick, he'll be like man. What's wrong with you, nigga? You ain't saying this shit.
Speaker 2See, he's got that built into everyone, that's fair. Yeah.
Speaker 3You almost feel like traumatized when he not talking shit.
Speaker 1So he gaslit the fuck out of you.
Speaker 2Did I do something wrong? Why?
Speaker 1are you not?
Speaker 5But that's how he introduced himself to me.
Speaker 4I probably said something about the first time I met you. I don't remember.
Speaker 3So being positive is yours. You're working on being positive to self.
Speaker 4Everybody, but mostly self oh.
Speaker 1I like it.
Speaker 4Yeah, mostly self.
Speaker 3Okay, so when I got here today, you didn't think about that I had to get some drugs off. You had it because you missed me. Just say it no, you missed me, you did it's okay, I missed you guys too no we didn't. Yeah, yeah, you did, it's okay we did I had my thing that I had to unlearn and relearn was that it is okay to have an unapologetic, deep love for self.
Speaker 3Like I think, I almost felt guilty or I never lost that I think I almost felt guilty, or I felt like, um, like I wasn't loving others if I poured too too much into myself. And then I had to learn that it was okay to be unapologetically in love with self. It's okay to be selfish, yeah. So so first is never selfish. I had a friend that used to tell me that all the time, and I definitely agree with that. So that was my thing, that I had my nigga. Are you cool? I like them. Like what's up. Is you cool over here? You okay.
Speaker 2I just wanted to see how long it take. What's that For someone to say?
Speaker 3something I felt you doing it and I was trying to ignore you. I felt you doing it, but I couldn't. I couldn't fucking take it no more Like what can I buy Some of them.
Speaker 2Well played.
Survival vs. Choice in Identity
Speaker 3How much of who you are today is shaped on survival and how much is a choice? 95% survival.
Speaker 2Okay, 85% survival 99%.
Speaker 1I don't know, just flying, seated my pants. Yeah, I'm glad, 100% choice.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 1Survival. I guess I got these kids and shit and family.
Speaker 2So I gotta survive and make sure that shit work. But that's right, I just popped in my head um, it's survival.
Speaker 1Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah I see somebody lying no man, don't do that. This is drake's time.
Speaker 2It's drake's time what did I miss?
Speaker 4yeah, let's go, let's go let's go, let's go mine is what is that?
Speaker 3it's probably like a good I would say like 98 survival and it's really just because I'm just now starting to, in last year, to make more choices that are not completely based on survival.
Speaker 1Oh, okay, yeah, so you're getting out of the. I think I got a lot of choices. Yeah, that's what's up.
Speaker 3I'm getting out of that, that survival and more like choice.
Speaker 1I mean, if you would just listen to me.
Speaker 3You know what. Don't listen.
Speaker 1Definitely get into choices.
Speaker 3I hear every piece of advice, advice that you give me and and you don't listen I do, I do listen and, uh, I also hear that it comes from a very loving space. Because no? It doesn't yes, it does yes one thing I learned about you one thing I learned about you is if you didn't give a fuck, you wouldn't waste your breath. So you definitely. It does come from a loving space for sure, for sure when you do this, you look like I don't. Don't do that.
Speaker 4Hello.
Speaker 3It's stressing me out Like a good cartoon or something. Don't do that.
Speaker 1Shit Are you guys still selling them selfish.
Speaker 4Y'all, you know this is random, but anybody know where I can get some good catfish?
Speaker 1Can't you eat that place in Mova I?
Speaker 3panicked. I literally panicked, like Jesus, please.
Speaker 1I don't do catfish really cause most people fuck it up is that fish?
Speaker 2and fries still there, that one place where you fry, we buy or you buy, we fry.
Speaker 1Ralph's. The Ralph's in Canyon Crest fries it. Alright, sorry, we went on tangent my fault. Hey, you had one more Ralph's and then and Chris fries it. Nah, I'm good, all right. So we went on tangent.
Looking Ahead: 10 Years From Now
Speaker 3My fault, hey, hey, hey, you had one more Ralphs and then it was finna be done, so I was gonna loop you back in, it's okay. What do you think that you're gonna be in 10 years? And who, as opposed to who you are now? Like, where do you think you're going in 10 years? You whisper, come on, whisper.
Speaker 4I'm gonna be one year out from being free cause she's gonna be 17. She's about to turn 18.
Speaker 5I'm gonna be free 10 more years, hopefully, on the verge of retirement and then picking that forever spot from when me and the wife settled down alright 10 years to retirement and thinking about forever with your wife sounds perfect.
Speaker 3I like that forever sounds dated.
Speaker 4no, you, this, I Forever sounds dated. No, I think what you're saying I'm not saying forever spot.
Speaker 5I'm saying the spot, the home that you choose, where you're not moving from.
Speaker 4Yeah, I'm saying I want to pick more light until I'm tired of her.
Speaker 3Your kid's going to be big as shit in 10 years. Yeah, I saw it on your face. God damn, it's going to be big as shit.
Speaker 4In 10 19 and or shit. 20 and 18, yeah and 13 right or 12 and 12 yeah, andrea's gonna be about 6, 7, ava's gonna be about 5, 10.
Speaker 2They already measured it'll be at least 6, 3.
Speaker 4Ava's gonna be about 5, 10. No, uh, andrea's Ava's gonna be about 5, 10. I think Ava's gonna be about 5, 10, and then that just it's going to be about 5'10" it's like 10 years. She can't wear heels around me.
Speaker 3She's going to tower over your ass. Sit down, uncle Shit, sit your ass down. I'm going to send her to you. Go get them.
Speaker 2I am tokaboka'd out.
Speaker 3Ava 10 years. Talk to me.
Speaker 2I am tokaboka'd out.
Speaker 1Have this shit paid off at work fuck yeah, that's the plan, man, fuck this shit. I'm sick of all this shit trying to have a lot of shit just paid off and just just relive it yeah, fuck. Yeah, we got that dumb ass timeshare too. It's not dumb cause we chose to get it, but I wanna be using that and just hopefully them niggas got their shit together oh, oh that is one thing.
Speaker 4That's what I was in 10 years, like if I feel like she's mature enough. Where I can, I'm I am confident that she can handle herself when she leaves home.
Speaker 3Now I feel like I've won yeah, yeah, then you already on the right path. You have a very good, good baby girl. You're on the right path, you're doing great.
Speaker 4This girl asked me to put her pants on for her yesterday that's alright.
Speaker 3she's a baby and when you're sharing, when you share a lot of your parenting skills, they they seem elevated to what received as children. So I really I don't think they work. I should go back to old school and just beat her ass.
Speaker 4No, no, no you got this.
Speaker 2No, you got this. What's that? I was just thinking it took me like two years to get in dress, to put the right shoe on the right foot.
Speaker 2Put a sticker in the inside of their shoe and then just tell them oh he's good now they just like to test your patience, yeah they don't give a fuck, and sometimes you think they're doing it on purpose and you're like you just fucking with me on purpose, you want me to be frustrated, and then they'd start doing it by themselves and you're like oh yeah, so you know how to do this. The whole fucking time, mm-hmm, you were just the lying.
Speaker 4yeah, yeah, see that they do some crazy shit, so she literally told me the other day that when her room gets too dirty, she gets overwhelmed and she can't clean it and I understand, I said, but you the one that made it fucking dirty so before you get to the point where you get overwhelmed. Stop and clean up the old shit before you make new shit she said it's too much.
Speaker 3I get it pumpkin. It's okay, princess and her mama help her every time.
Speaker 4How about you could still live in the fields? I'm not going in there. I'll close the door. Ain't my problem, huh.
Speaker 3I don't clean shit. Well, in 10 years I hope my nonprofit is off the ground and helping millions of women.
Speaker 2It will be Right.
Speaker 3Thank you. Yes, millions I want to. One in four women have a miscarriage, so I'm hoping that it's off the ground and we're able to help lots and lots of women. Why not a billion? We could do a billion. I want to be able to be global at some point, so I'm hoping that in 10 years we're at least on the path of being able to be global. I hope I've had a child by then. Just one, because I really don't want all them kids living in my house. It's something about a bunch of kids living in my house just to be the fuck out. I can probably do one or two, but two is the tap off. Two, two is the tap off. So hopefully I've had children by then. And um, yeah, that's about it.
Speaker 4I want to travel and just be if you want to travel, don't handle that them kids. I want to travel with my kids because I was something about my I want to, I want to travel with my kids, because I want to travel with my kids and that's something that I wish. I would have never had to carry four suitcases at one time.
Speaker 3I don't know about none of that, and you got to remember that, although I don't have biological children, I have hate. We have hated for a great deal of time, and then I had. I had somebody, oh Lord. So I was married before John and that person I was married to had a child and I raised that child. So I'm familiar with parenting. I just don't have any biological children the story of death unfolds more, you know, because it just I mean because she ain't never mentioned that in this part.
Speaker 2That's why I just said oh lord but what I'll say is the more you get, the more headcount you have to make, because you realize you're like, wait a minute, there was one, two, because sometimes you'll be like just with two of them and you're like there was a third.
Speaker 3Oh, that third one's not here, cool that's why I can't have no hope, but your kid, because one of them?
Speaker 5absolutely no, they won't.
Speaker 3No, they won't listen, listen.
Speaker 1When you pay for that ticket, you go.
Speaker 3Everybody's gonna be on this, goddamn yeah, I can definitely see me losing the kid because, yeah, but uh, two kids max for me. But then, other than that, that's it, just traveling and being at peace. I'll be 50 by then, so I don't plan on on working for nobody. By the time I'm 50, I plan on having all my businesses established so that I can just hire people to run them for me and I can collect the money so that is.
Speaker 3That is um and oh and my, my other business that I have, my llc. I plan to reinvest in that here soon so that I can start to build that.
Speaker 4Is that the lingerie one?
Speaker 3Yeah, the plus size lingerie. I'm hoping that I can.
Speaker 1Are we going to try to get four other niggas to sit here so we can go some places? We're going to do something. Hey, so we're going to leave.
Speaker 2So it'll be Devin.
Speaker 1Joris. Destiny Tess we're gonna have Les, les and Mudder.
Speaker 4Mudder.
Speaker 3Mudder stick fly sitting here in 10 years. He sound like he from London in 10 years, and maybe we would have elevated this to something else. And we're, we're now on tv or or something in that nature.
Speaker 1Um, you never know you. I'm not saying I don't fuck if that's where we go and I'm with it. I just don't want to be on tv the occasional guest of hatattrick.
Speaker 3Yep, yep, pulling through, pulling through. We might be on TV, who knows, who knows?
Speaker 1Yeah we'll be, in London. I'll show up. Yes, I'll be like hey guys, I also think I want to act a little bit you think, yeah, I've been thinking about it, you want to do it, you want to be out there it's definitely I.
Speaker 3I don't mind the people knowing me, I just don't. I want. I think I want to act a little bit and I think I want to dive a little bit deeper into the comedy I don't want to catch who are these niggas?
Speaker 2yeah, who are these niggas?
Speaker 1I like that. You want to do the red carpet and all that shit.
Speaker 3I would love that I would love that, because I'm trying to get as close to motherfucking Chris Brown as humanly possible.
Speaker 1Never mind.
Speaker 3So you think that ain't going to be.
Speaker 1Never mind, I can't wish nothing like that.
Speaker 3In 10 years, Chris Brown will be alive and well. I didn't mean dead.
Speaker 1I just meant, if he gonna have, he gonna have some bracelets on each.
Speaker 3No, don't do, don't do, don't do him like that, don't do him like that, don't Chris.
Speaker 1I know. That's why I shouldn't say that.
Speaker 3Don't do Chris.
Speaker 1He gonna have some Grammys.
Speaker 3Thank you, Because my man, my man my man.
Speaker 2You know who really bangs the set out there.
Speaker 1YG.
Speaker 3CB. Oh yeah, cb, do huh. Drake said it. What I missed, drake did say yeah, what did I miss? What moment? Because we have to do this all in the morning? What, what moment in life has made you question your identity?
Speaker 1my identity.
Speaker 3Yeah, like who you is like who you is, like definitely who you is. I think I can go, I can actually answer this. I think when I realized that I had people please the fuck out of a lot of my friendships, it made me question like who exactly am I and why do I think this shit is necessary?
Speaker 1yeah, I think maybe recently that's some shit that's happened and I'm like why do niggas think they could do this? And it's because I do do. So, yeah, yeah. I'm not going to say anything specific, but yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3Yeah, I honestly feel like.
Speaker 1Fuck all this.
Speaker 3Yeah, I take full accountability for that, because people there's going to be in life, people that are going to do exactly what the fuck you allow them to do.
Speaker 1Yeah, I need to just start flying off on niggas.
Speaker 3You might need to just tee off on the nigga real quick Hold on Hold the fuck up. So you wait until I get positive.
Speaker 4So the whole time I was a grouch nigga and I was in it, I was with it.
Speaker 1We could have did that together, nah, nah, I got to do this still, though.
Speaker 4Being a provider?
Speaker 2ah, it made you question well, yeah, it could be like a positive way. What the fuck, like you start saying, is that all I am?
Speaker 4oh jeez, you feel that way.
Speaker 2Sometimes talk to me you just feel like is that all I am? And then you start questioning is that? Then you have to? And then you start questioning is that? Then you have to start digging deeper and realizing that you are more than that and you have to go. Well, what am I outside of that? And then you start delving deep into shit, then you start taking those paths, down the roads, to keep her sanity.
Speaker 3You know what I could relate to that? Because I think I felt that way as a wife, like I legitimately felt, like all I am is this nigga's wife and his son's stepmama, and I couldn't really like you had no identity, nothing, and it was driving me nuts because I just missed me. So I think I I relate to what you're saying.
Speaker 5Hmm.
Speaker 2Fucking Robitussin. And this shit don't we've talked about it before this shit don't make it worse when, or it makes it any better when you, your kid, says some shit like so, like when you walk in the house. So what did you get me? You're like fuck nigga.
Speaker 4I told you last week, nigga, she's asking for sushi for lunch but that's not.
Speaker 2How are you? How was your day?
Speaker 1no, I don't get none of that shit. Oh yeah, I don't care it's can we get what?
Speaker 2did you get me? What did you bring? I'm like you know dad's fine. Thanks for asking. Like fuck, like motherfuckers survived motherfuckers with road rage. But you know no, I you repeat the question for me.
Speaker 3Yes, I can, let me say this real quick. I lucked up in that area with my stepson because he is the most caring child ever, like I I say this a lot on the show like he's been my most favorite experience of my whole being married not to play my husband, because at one point he was cool, but hayden has been the best experience, because he does when you walk through the door. He doesn't want to know how your day was and what did you do and what are you thinking. And I mean I can watch a movie with Hayden and he want to know well, how was this for you? Well, what did you like? What was your favorite part? He's very like, engaged in that way.
Speaker 2I love that kid. Yeah, what's the time stamp? 11 15? You hear that, ava?
Speaker 4no he's a good kid um no, I mean, I get the how are you dad and all that shit, but it's it's. It's rushed to get to the question oh let's get to the question. Well, can you repeat?
Speaker 3the question. Yes, I was asking um. What moments in life has made you question your identity?
Speaker 4Only I can think of, like last year, when I went through what I went through, and it made me actually step back and realize that I was just running myself rampant trying to be everything I could be for everyone but me. So that put things in, put things, things made a clear picture for me and that's when I really started working on myself it's a deep revelation.
Speaker 3Something beautiful came out of such a bad experience and so. But I love that for you, and I'm and you. We can see the change in you. Yes, clock it. What about you, pat um?
Speaker 5the moment that uh made me question my identity was basically becoming a father oh, you got kids yeah how many kids do you have?
Speaker 3one okay, boy or girl boy okay, how was that? How was being a boy dad for you?
Speaker 4good, challenging a headache, just square up with him how old is he?
Speaker 3mine is 18 now no, no, you got an 18 year old yeah it's because you black snatched skin still. Okay, okay, okay, don't square up with your child. Don't listen to this thing. Don't hit your baby. He won't square with me because he know better. Huh, yeah, you know what time it is period. That's a good revelation. Having having your child and your child kind of making you question.
Speaker 3What about having the baby made you question um, just like the moments we went through, the growing pains because he is, uh, he's not biologically mine, but it was just the growing pains of me and him coming together and making our bond I understand that and that's not spoken about a lot, because there are a lot of stand-up bonus fathers that step in in places where the biological father should have and they create some of the most amazing children. So kudos to you for having a heart to do that, because I think bonus moms get highlighted a lot. A lot of people tell me great job for what I do with Hayden, but I don't think it happens a lot for bonus dads. So kudos to you for that. That's dope Did everyone answer.
Speaker 3Yes, I think so.
Speaker 2Hey Patrick, I got a question for you. Did everyone answer yes, I think so. Hey, Patrick, I got a question for you. What's good.
Speaker 3What was going through your mind when that raccoon was at your driver door.
Speaker 5On your truck In his car. So yeah, this is when we was getting off work. Ups in the warehouse Riverside Was walking to the car, me and Andy was talking, and then he parked a couple cars down, but then I walked up to the car Me and Andy was talking, and then he parked a couple cars down, but then I walked up to my car.
Speaker 2I think it was a rat. This has got to be the most annoying day.
Speaker 5But what was going through my head? How the hell am I going to get home?
Speaker 3You didn't flash your lights at his car and that doesn't get the raccoon to run.
Speaker 2I didn't know about that. He told me about the raccoon the next day. How your lights in his car and that doesn't get the raccoon to run. I didn't know about that. He told me about the raccoon the next day. How did you get in the car? Yeah, how'd you get in the car, Patrick?
Speaker 5How did I get in the?
Speaker 2car, you got into the passenger seat.
Speaker 5Yeah, that's what I was about to say. I was like I knew I didn't get into the driver's seat real quick. Hell. No, you gonna hug that raccoon.
Speaker 2Yeah, man, that motherfucker, that was a big ass raccoon.
Speaker 1That was the UPS raccoon. They could have got up and like hugged you.
Speaker 4You should have caught that coon and made some coon soup.
Speaker 3Oh God, Country ass Soup Ain't no damn coon chowder.
Speaker 1I was just curious what was going through your mind because me I was like no, I'm not a coon guy.
Speaker 2No, no, sorry, coons, don't do it for me there's an interesting tip about my dad's nickname was coon oh really because he used to love climbing trees, so they called him coon I was like ace, boom, some racist shit.
Speaker 1I mean, is it racist when all your siblings are all niggas.
Speaker 2Yes, we had this discussion earlier. Yeah, we was talking about, but I mean, it's all niggas?
Speaker 1Yes, we had this discussion earlier. Yeah, we was talking about, I mean, it's all niggas.
What Shaped Your Authentic Self
Speaker 3We have time for one last question. Who helped you become this version of you that feels the most real? Jesus, my kids.
Speaker 4Babies, did you say Jesus?
Speaker 3Babies, what about you?
Speaker 5Wifey.
Speaker 1Your wifey Don't make me say that.
Speaker 3Okay.
Speaker 1Oh me.
Speaker 3You period. I like to thank me, Thank you.
Speaker 4All of it.
Speaker 3No, he was asking the question me, oh you, okay, that wasn't the answer All of them.
Speaker 1It's all of it. It's just a lot of shit. Everything molded me, so I know it's a generic shit, but that's the truth Least honest.
Speaker 3What about you?
Speaker 4My wife.
Speaker 3Your wife. And that ass.
Speaker 1The ass molded you.
Speaker 4Yeah, it motivated me to get in that more.
Speaker 3I think every bad experience that I had Positive, for real, for real.
Speaker 3Every bad experience, all of them, I think they molded me to who I am and and I think that, um, just being married, I think being married molded me to the who, the wife I will be in if I ever get married again. That's a big if, cause I don't know how I feel about that, but hmm, I think what the fuck was that? Hmm, go ahead, talk your shit. I do. Honestly, I I make it seem like my husband's a bad person, and he's not. It may come off that way with some of the things that I say, but he's not he's not we just we, just, we just two people that don't don't work well as a team.
Speaker 3we work great in a two people that don't work well as a team. We work great in a friendship, but we don't work well as a team, and I think I learned through that that some things can't be forced.
Speaker 2Those facts.
Speaker 3Even if you try, you know something you can definitely try, but something just ain't meant to be so I think that's something that I also, you know, shaped me to understand and it also gave me a better understanding of self, because was not him that was doing the forcing, it was me. So that was something that you know. He he was very transparent and clear in the beginning that marriage wasn't something that he was ready for, but did it because I was ready, or at least I thought.
Speaker 3I was at least I thought I was so more info you have. I think that don't be fucking with me. I'm just being transparent for those people out there that may be going through what I'm going through and I noticed that there's a lot of women that will like force bug, I want to marry you.
Speaker 3We need to be together and a man will do it because they love them, they don't want to lose them, but they're just not ready. So I learned that I can't force nothing and things need to just happen organically and I need to be okay with with not having control over everything. So that that was one of the biggest things that shaped me.
Speaker 2That's what's up.
Speaker 3Thank you, thank you, thank you anyways this has been another spill the tea eye-opening episode of the heavyweight podcast you don't know what you did it to me. Okay, as always like, subscribe, share, comment, all that shit, all of that shit.
Speaker 1Peace that's a wrap, y'all. That's how she wrote, so make sure you click like and subscribe. Tune in we on the Austrian platform Until next time bye, lads.
